The Brotherhood of the Round Table
by shinobi-turtleducks
Summary: "Merlin?" "Yes Arthur?" "Why is the table ROUND?" "Errrmm.."  *** "Merlin?" "Yes Arthur?" "Did you just use magic?" "Errrmm..."  The Brotherhood of the Round Table holds many values dear.Maybe they can show them by not having Merlin executed? BROMANCE BRIGADE
1. Why is that table round?

The Brotherhood of the Round Table

Why is that table round?

Arthur strolled through the castle, whistling cheerfully. That Merlin and his damned perkiness had rubbed off on him. He came to a sudden halt halfway through the Tale of the Drunken Scotsman as he took in the sight before him.

"Merlin... what is that table doing up here?" Arthur stared at the enormous, circular stone table being manhandled into position in the meeting room. Merlin's grinning head appeared from the other side of the table from where he had been directing the guards.

"You said you wanted a table for the knights. I quote, "As Prince Regent, I need a table for my knights and I to sit around on our first official meeting. Hop to it." Then I said that you had legs and could go and get your own table, but you threw a boot at me and I went. A little bit to the left, James!"

Arthur sighed heavily. "Yes, I know that. The point is, why is it round? And as I recall, it was a goblet.""

"No, it was definitely a boot. One of your great big clodhopping boots. Hard to miss, considering the size and amount of time I spend polishing the things. Anyway, look! It's round, and it's a table! So it's a ROUND TABLE! "The Knights Of The Round Table" sounds a lot better than "The Knights Of The Rectangular Bog Standard Basic Table."" He cheered as the guards finally wrestled the table into position.

"Well done, James, Alan. Now it just needs to go back a little." One of the guards mumbled what sounded suspiciously like a string of curses as he picked up his end of the table again.

"Hey, watch it! I'll set Gaius on you." The cursing ceased.

Arthur looked at Merlin. How could he have missed the fact that his manservant was obviously insane?

"Merlin?"

"Yes Arthur?"  
>"Shut up."<br>"Yes Arthur."  
>"And it was definitely a goblet! I think I would know what I throw at you."<p>

"Oh please, you couldn't know the difference between your head and a coconut."  
>Arthur was thankfully saved from trying to come up with a scathing reply by the arrival of Gwaine.<p>

"Princess!" Gwaine cheered, waving a flask of ale randomly in the air. "How are you doing? Why is that table round?" He stared at the table in baffled fascination, then shrugged and went over to Merlin. "Merlin! How are you, mate?" He clapped Merlin on the shoulder, causing his knees to buckle slightly.

"Let's save the explanations until everyone is here," suggested Merlin. Arthur nodded, wondering what excuse- sorry, _explanation_ he would offer.

Gwen came through the doors, smiling at Arthur. Finally they had admitted they liked each other. Merlin was exceedingly glad that he no longer had to be threatened with the stocks every time he pointed out their feelings for one another. Pity really, Arthur thought. He rather liked seeing Merlin get tomatoes in the fizzog.

"Good morning! Am I too early for the meeting?" Ever since Arthur had started courting her he had insisted on her attending the meetings. She stared at the table. "Arthur, why is there an enormous round table in here?"

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. "Merlin has a very good explanation for it which will be revealed in all due time, _don't you, Mer_lin?" The manservant just grinned cheerily.

Sir Leon arrived, Percival close behind him.  
>"Good morning sire. Is this the new table?" Leon inquired, looking at it. He blinked. "Why-"<br>"Merlin will explain when everyone is here," Arthur said through gritted teeth.

Lancelot entered next. "Good mor- why is that table round?" Arthur refused to dignify that with an answer.

Next came Elyan. He didn't say anything, just walked over to Gwen and stared at the table.

Gaius walked in. "Ah, good morning sire, and may I say, interesting choice of table."

Now that everyone was here Arthur finally allowed himself to lose it.

"ENOUGH WITH THE TABLE ALREADY! Merlin here is going to enlighten us as to _exactly _why our new table is _round _and not a nice, NORMAL table!"

Merlin stepped forward, still grinning, the idiot.

"Well, our Prince Regent here decided to have a round table-" Arthur spluttered in righteous indignation.

"-as a symbol of equality." Arthur stopped spluttering. Merlin continued,

"You see, being round, this table has no head, therefore you all sit in positions of equal importance."

Everyone stared at Arthur for a minute, before nodding approvingly. Gwaine went so far as to cheer.  
>"Yay for the princessh! And yay for hish shparkly pink unicorn! And the ribbonsh in it'sh mane!"<p>

Gazes were abruptly switched to the now singing knight.

"Gwaine, are you drunk again?" asked Merlin kindly.

"Drunk? Pah! Drunk ish for old ladiesh and... and Arthur! I'm _tipshy!_ I'sh an entirely different matter, shee?"  
>Arthur facepalmed. He had had better meetings...<p>

AUTHOR'S NOTE- Hiya! This was my attempt at humour. Reviews make me write faster... Hint hint nudge nudge wink wink? I might turn this into a reveal fic, any thoughts on that? It will only be two or three chapters though.

AUTHOR'S NOTE TAKE TWO- Well, I've been stuck without internet for the last four weeks, it's the summer holidays and I'm considering building an ark. "It rained for forty days and forty nights", pfft. Around here, we bust out the paddling pool and declare it a summer heatwave. Anyway, the original first chapter of this makes me cringe to read over, so here is a revised and hopefully better version. It actually does get better as the story goes on, y'know. *hint, hint!*


	2. Values, Part I

The Brotherhood of the Round Table

Values

Arthur surveyed the (round!) table. Everyone was there- Lancelot, Gaius, Gwen, Gwaine, Lancelot, Percival and Leon, plus himself. Yet there was still someone missing...

_*CRASH!*_

Ah. Of course. Merlin. He really did know how to make an entrance.

"Sorry I'm late, I was in the library!" the manservant chattered, scooping up the suit of armour he'd knocked over. "I was looking at the history of the knights of Camelot and-"  
>"You mean you actually know what a book is? I'm surprised," mocked Arthur.<p>

"Shut it you prat, I'm serious!" Merlin grinned, laughing at the indignant expression on the prince's face.

"I wish you could be serious, but you seem to have missed a few lessons in appropriate behaviour."  
>"You mean boring behaviour."<br>"Exact- now hang on a minute!"

A cough from Gaius reminded them of their audience, who now looked rather amused at the banter.

"Excellent, we get free ale _and _entertainment! You really should schedule these meetings more often, princess," said Gwaine, waving his goblet. Arthur frowned.

"Ale? I ordered for apple juice to be put in the goblets, ever since the Great Gwaine Incident of May."

Gwaine protested loudly. "You know that wasn't all my fault! The rum was just sitting there, begging to be drunk... the table begging for a dance partner... you all begging for a song..."  
>Everyone paled. Arthur shuddered slightly. "Gwaine, I have never been able to look at a chandelier in the same way since. Anyway, how <em>did <em>you get ale?" Gwaine looked shifty.  
>"Ahem... perhaps there are one or two or half a dozen kitchen maids who are... rather fond of me, but how is that my fault? I just exude charm and good looks and-"<br>"_Speaking _of good qualities, I was going through a history book and I found some stuff out about the original Knights of the Round Table, " Merlin interrupted, trying not to think about the Great Gwaine Incident- it was just too disturbing to remember. "They attributed a quality that one person held dear to the person whom they thought best embodied it."  
>Blink blink.<p>

Merlin sighed. "For example, they would name the most honest person as Honesty."  
>There was a collective "Ohhhhh!" from the rest of the group.<p>

Arthur smiled. "That sounds like a good idea! Let's do that!" He paused. "Merlin? How do we do that?"  
>Merlin hesitated slightly. This might take some persuasion. "Well... you'd have to drink a potion, but it's harmless, I've checked," he added hastily. "It scans your soul and decides your word, then makes you speak your word so you can't fib about it and say that your word is, I don't know, <em>alcohol.<em>" He directed a halfhearted glare at Gwaine, who feigned innocence, whistling loudly.  
>Arthur frowned slightly. "A potion?" That would be magic though. But... looking back at everything he'd seen, maybe the whole magic situation wasn't as black and white as it appeared. "Errr... do we have this potion?"<br>Merlin nodded. "Yes, I found some in the archives and brought it up here." He glanced around. It was in a leather flask, has anyone-" His eyes fell on the frozen form of Gwaine, who had been in the process of swigging from a small leather flask.

"Ooops," muttered the knight guiltily. "Looks like I'm going first."

_  
>AUTHOR'S NOTE- I'm sorry it's so short, but I had to end it there or it would be too long and upset the balance of the story! I'll update as soon as I can to make up for it. Please review! You don't know how much they mean to me.<p> 


	3. Values, Part II

The Brotherhood Of The Round Table

Values Part II

"Gwaine? Gwaine? Are you all right? Gwaine!"  
>He could hear the voices but, at the same time, he couldn't. The feeling of magic rushing through his brain was... exhilarating. It was warm, burrowing into his mind but not in an invasive way. It flicked through memories of him jumping into battles, bar fights and duels, of drinks and friends and having fun. Of the times he had known it was suicide in all but name but had dived head first into the action anyway. Of fighting for what he loved and damning the consequences. With a gentle sigh, the memories stopped and a word rushed into his head, which he spoke in a voice that was not his.<p>

"_Courage."_

Dazed, he opened his eyes, grinning.

"That was so awesome! Can I do it again?"

The concerned faces relaxed, and Lancelot took the flask from his grip. He sniffed at it, then took a sip.

"Here I go..."

Pictures. The magic delved into his brain and brought forth pictures from Lancelot's past. Of him killing a griffin, protecting his friend's secret, hating having to deceive the king into believing he was nobility. Of laughing with his friends, charging into battle on the front line, trying to free Gwen from the bandits, helping Arthur regain Camelot and quashing his feelings for Gwen, all for the sake of...  
><em>"Honour."<em>

He opened his eyes, blinking slightly. Holding up the flask, he looked around.

"Who's next? It isn't bad, you know."  
>Somewhat curiously, Gaius picked it up and took a drink.<p>

_""Merlin, don't add those together! They are EXTREMELY volatile!"  
>"You don't prove her innocence by offering to jump into the flames. You do it by finding out what's causing the disease."<br>"Magic is neither good nor evil. It's how you use it."_

He could hear his own voice inside his head, replaying words he had said at various points in time- mainly to Merlin, actually, warning him against being foolish. He smiled to himself. He loved that boy like a son, and he was fairly certain that Merlin felt the same way.

He could feel his mouth open and a word form in his throat.

"_Wisdom."_

He opened his eyes. Wisdom? Really? The rest of the group seemed to think it fit, as they nodded approvingly and Merlin's grin widened.

He smiled slightly and offered the flask to Percival, who accepted it with a nod.

"_Now, Percy, always remember- it's important to tell the truth! Lying can get you into a lot of trouble."  
>"Yes, mother."<br>_Memories, crowding his mind. With a pang of loss, he saw his mother speaking to him, as clear as day.  
><em>"If you tell the truth, you are always in the right. Don't forget that."<em>

Percival had never told a lie since- not even when he should. If his sister asked him if her dress suited her, he would feign deafness rather than answer. If he got in trouble for something, he would own up to it without any qualms. If he didn't know something for certain, he would find it out before claiming it as truth. He could see his mother smile is his mouth opened of it's own accord.

"_Truth."_

The memory faded away and he was back in the meeting room, holding the flask. Slightly dazed, he waved it in silence. Elyan picked it up and took a sip.

With a warm rush of magic, he was seven years old, and playing with his friends. A younger boy with scraped knees and a wide smile wanted to join in, but his friends didn't want to let him.

"_Elyan, he's younger than us. He can't play." _Elyan had been confused.  
><em>"What does age have to do with it? He wants to play, I don't mind, and you shouldn't either." <em>The other boys had been unimpressed.  
>"<em>He's six. That's way too young to play with us."<em>

"_We're only seven," _Elyan pointed out quite sensibly._ "I'm going to play with him, you can if you like but there'll be no more nonsense about age." _With that, he had wandered off with the rather bemused six year old.

"_Equality."_

His eyes opened and he smiled slightly. He had forgotten about that incident. Looking around, he held up the flask in a silent invitation. Arthur, Gwen, Merlin and Leon still had to take the potion. After a moment, Leon took it and drank.

He jumped slightly at the feeling of magic rushing through him. It was sort of tingly, burrowing through his memories, rooting out images of him in battle, fighting off bandits, battling enemies and guarding his comrades' backs. It was important to let them get on with their business and focus on your own fight, or you'd distract yourself worrying about them. You had to have faith in your abilities and theirs.

"_Trust."_

He looked around. Gwen gently took the flask, sipping it with a smile.

Images danced in Gwen's head, of comforting Morgana after her nightmares, of bandaging Elyan's sprained wrist when she was seven, of sitting with Arthur when he had been given donkey ears (she had found it _so _hard not to snigger at that!). She remembered sitting with her father when he had a fever through the night, pressing cool cloths to his head to keep the temperature down. The magic tickled as it opened her mouth and spoke in a clear voice quite unlike her own.

"_Kindness."_

Merlin was teasing Arthur again.

"What do you reckon yours is? Prattishness? Thickheadedness? Stubbornness? Ooh! I know! Dollop-headedness!" Arthur scowled and took the flask.

He jumped at the magic, resisting the long born impulse to reach for his sword. It was harmless, he knew that. After all the many, _many _times he had witnessed magic, he should hate it, right? But he could never shake the feeling that there was more to the story.  
>The magic seemed to find what it was looking for; memories began playing behind his eyelids. Him looking for the Morteaus flower to save Merlin, riding out to fight the dragon, trying to make Uther see the truth about the "troll bride from Hell" as Merlin put it, and all the other times that he had refused to give up and his stubbornness had pulled through. His mouth opened and a word fell out.<p>

"_Determination." _His thoughts were interrupted by a burst of laughter from Merlin.

"Determination? That's just another word for being stubborn! I told you so_!"  
><em>Arthur scowled. "Yeah, yeah, _Mer_lin, no-one likes a know-it-all. Come on, you next!" Merlin's eyes widened.  
>"<em>I'm<em> not drinking it! Why do I have to?"  
>Arthur scoffed. "Come on, we all did it! Don't be a wuss and drink it!"<p>

"I don't have to. I'm not even a member of the Round Table. I brought it for you lot to drink. Anyway, I only brought enough for eight!" He was babbling by the end. Arthur frowned again. Merlin didn't think he was a part of the group? That wasn't right! Merlin was the one that held them all together! Looking around, he could see everyone else having a similar reaction. Not noticing Lancelot and Gaius's slight frowns of concern, he put on his 'Prince Regent' voice.

"_Mer_lin, you are drinking that potion whether you like it or not! You _do _have to, you _are _a member and-" he shook the flask, smirking as it sloshed slightly. "-there _is_ enough left for a skinny bloke such as yourself." Incredibly, Merlin was STILL arguing.

_"_There is _nothing _on this earth that would make me drink that potion!_ Nothing!_ I mean it!Not a _single th- GWAINE GIVE ME MY NECKERCHIEF THIS __SECOND_ OR THERE WILL BE _CONSEQUENCES_! GIVE! IT! BA-mmmmphh!" Arthur had rammed the flask into his mouth and forced him to swallow the last dregs of potion.  
>_<p>

AUTHOR'S NOTE- I really hate this chapter. The POV's switch around a lot and don't know enough about the characters to _really _understand them. If you think they were out of character or anything, tell me in a review please! I could use some reassurance that this isn't as bad as I think it is... please? *echoing silence* Oh come on! It isn't that bad, is it?


	4. The Mind Of Merlin

The Brotherhood Of The Round Table

The Mind Of Merlin

The memories were an assault on his senses, pictures, sounds and feelings crashing over him in great waves. He let out a gasp as they slowed down and became distinguishable. He was two years old, and giggling as little sparks danced over his head. He was seven, and Will was about to fall into a river, when Merlin slowed time and caught him. He was thirteen, and weeding the garden for his mother without lifting a finger. Then he was in Camelot, saving Gaius from falling with a wave of his hand and a flash of his eyes. Slowing time down to save the prat from Lady Helen, spending _hours _perfecting the spell to animate Valiants shield, defeating the Afanc, saving Arthur whilst unconscious. Enchanting Lanelot's spear, healing Uther, blasting the Sidhe. With a pang of hurt, he remembered saving Mordred with Morgana. Burnishing Excalibur, then hiding it in the lake. He felt tears well up as he relived Will's death, but refused to shed them. He had some pride after all. He remembered trying to save Arthur from the Questing Beast, and felt the overwhelming fury at Nimueh he had felt before he blasted her into smithereens. Defeating Sigan, hiding the druids with fog- mind, it was his fault they were caught in the first place. Travelling to save Gwen with Arthur, and locking Hengist in with the Wildren. With a shudder, he saw the Troll Bride From Hell popped up in his memories. The Witchfinder. Lying to Arthur about his birth to stop him from killing the king. Then- oh gods- _Freya. _He couldn't help it this time, he let the tears fall. He could feel someone shaking him and people shouting, but he couldn't open his eyes.

Many more memories flashed past- Trickler, the Knights of Medhir,_ Balinor, _the goblin (he smiled at that one, remembering Arthur the Ass), meeting Gwaine, the eye of the phoenix, Gilli, Morgana's latest attempt to take over. He saw Freya with Excalibur, then the Knights of the Round Table battling for Camelot. The memories were slowing down, and with a sickening lurch of his stomach, he knew what was coming next. He fought the impulse to open his mouth, but he was losing fast. Finally, his lips were forced apart and a word was pushed from his mouth, from his very _self. _

Arthur sat back as Merlin slumped in his seat. He felt a little guilty for forcing him to drink the potion against his will, but he really wanted to know what Merlin's attribute would be. The man was an enigma- so clumsy and silly one minute, but so wise and experienced the next. He hadn't seen it at the start,but throughout the years he'd noticed how Merlin would seem so sad and... _old _every now and then, whenever he thought nobody was watching.

He jumped as Merlin gasped, evidently reliving memories as the rest of them had. Arthur watched impatiently, waiting for him to just spit out a word already, but the manservant remained still and silent, only an occasional frown betraying his consciousness. Suddenly, Merlin's face hardened and his jaw clenched. He looked livid, and what's more, he looked... scary. That was the only word for it. Whatever he was reliving, it wasn't pleasant. Then his expression smoothed and he relaxed slightly as the memory passed, though he contined to frown every now and them. The room was utterly silent. Hardly anyone dared to breathe. But then Merlin's face twisted in anguish and, to their horror, tears coursed steadily down his cheeks.  
>Arthur shot to his feet and grabbed Merlin, shaking him. "Merlin, snap out of it! Come on! I'm sorry! Just wake up!"<br>Gaius was also on his feet, leaning over the young man with great compassion and terrible comprehension in his eyes. Strangely, Lancelot was also standing.  
>"You shouldn't have made him drink that, you could see he didn't want it! Why did you have to make him?" Arthur lowered his gaze in shame, as did Gwaine. He had hurt his friend, and it was all his fault. Gaius snapped him out of his reverie.<br>"Sire, I think he's coming round!" Indeed, Merlin had stopped crying, and he seemed to be fighting the magic compelling him to speak. Arthur barely had a moment to conteplate the strangeness of it, before Merlin's eyes snapped open and a word was torn from his lips.

_"Magic!"_

AUTHOR'S NOTE- Phewee, I _am _evil! Virtual cookies go to everyone who guessed what Merlin's would be. This chapter is partly for **GoldJinx170, **because I can't resist puppy eyes!

THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed! I'm only 13, I need to have _some _assurance that people actually like my stories. Please continue your awesomeness and leave me a review, even if it's only a few words!


	5. Hidden in Plain Sight

The Brotherhood Of The Round Table

Hidden in Plain Sight

Merlin's eyes shot open, chest still heaving with exertion. He was greeted by absolute silence. Looking around, he took in everyone's faces. Gaius and Lancelot were sympathetic and mildly horrified, Gwaine was triumphant, Gwen and Elyan wore expressions of dawning comprehension, Leon was guarded, Percival suprised, and Arthur... Arthur was impassive. Merlin stood up.

"Errr... I just remembered, I have to do something somewhere for someone! I'll be back later! Don't wait up!" With that, he practically sprinted to the exit.

He ran down the corridor, startling the half-asleep guards out of their stupor. He heard footsteps behind him, but when he turned around to look he tripped over a protruding flagstone and landed with a large crunch.

"Owwwwwww..." he moaned, staggering upright. Gwaine was at his side in an instant, helping him up.  
>"I <em>knew <em>it! _I knew it _all along! Say, you don't happen to be able to turn water to ale, do you? That would be _so _cool! I'd never have to have an involuntary bar fight again!" He was chattering like a monkey on a sugar rush. Percival caught up and wheezed guiltily, "I gave him some more mead earlier. Big mistake." Merlin stared at them. They didn't appear to be trying to arrest/burn/stab/kill/otherwise maim him yet, which was a little confusing. Percival took hold of Gwaine's arm and guided him back towards the meeting room, gesturing for Merlin to follow. As soon as they turned around, however, Merlin had gone.

Gwaine swore under his breath. How could they _lose _Merlin? The castle was only so big; they _had _to be running out of places to search. He ran a hand through his black hair, sighing in frustration. _Two hours _they had been searching, _two hours _of traipsing up and down the corridors looking for the missing man. They had frightened the laundry maids out of their wits, six knights, the Court Physician, the Prince Regent and his consort sticking their heads into the room hollering for Merlin. The problem was that, as he was a servant, Merlin seemed to have an uncanny knowledge of all the secret rooms and passageways in the castle.

Gwaine was thoroughly irritated at himself for letting Merlin run off behind his back. He considered Merlin his best friend, and everyone knew it. Unfortunately, he had sobered up now, and he was aware enough to notice Arthur's face.

The unofficial king was lost in thought, odd expressions flickering over his face. Denial, hurt, disbelief, confusion, relief, denial. Over and over again. Gwaine couldn't tell what he was thinking, but he could tell that Merlin might be right to hide. Pendragons were known for their fiery tempers. He chuckled to himself. That was a pun! Or a metaphor or something. Either way.

Gaius sighed behind him. "I think we should call it a day for now. I'm not getting any younger here you know. Come, let's go back to my chambers and rest a little. Merlin will come out when he's ready to be found." Gwaine found himself nodding in agreement, as did the rest of the group. As one, they turned and headed for the physician's chamber, trooping through the door in single file. The workroom was dangerously full now, what with Gaius' senstive equipment, so they opened the door to Merlin's room and spilled in. Gwaine flopped on the narrow wooden bed, sighing in exhaustion. He bounced around, muttering "How can he get comfy on this? It's full of lumps and bu-eep!" Later he would vehemently deny the unmanly "eep" but as it was, it was sort of hard not make some noise of surprise when the very man you had been searching for for the last two hours suddenly detached themselves from the "lumpy" mattress and dived for air, complaining loudly.

"_Gwaine! _Give it a rest! You want to lay off the pudding, mate, that hurt!" He then seemed to realise where he was and that literally a small army of people that he had been hiding from were crammed into his small room.

"... oh dear."

Arthur stared at the skinny young man perched on the bed, tangled in the blankets. Finally he could get some answers!  
>"Have you been hiding here all this time?" he asked, rather indignantly. Slowly, Merlin nodded. He looked scared. Well, he would, having been accused of sorcery. Trust him to get the faulty potion! Squishing down the thought that it had worked on the others perfectly fine, he was pushed out of the way by Gauis entering the room holding a tray of drinks. "I brought you all some tea- oh!" He had spotted Merlin. Gwaine eagerly took a mug and unashamedly poured some mead into it. He swigged it down then turned to Merlin, who flinched slightly.<p>

"_YOU! _Are a _sneaky _bugger!" Merlin jumped guiltily. "Disappearing off like that! And hiding in the most _obvious _place! You, my friend, are learning!" Merlin looked confused, but smiled.

"Well, to be honest, you aren't the best at tracking anything smarter than a poor, defenceless bunny rabbit in an environment that doesn't leave footprints." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"That's not the point! The point is, we know the potion must have been faulty. I mean, imagine _you _having magic! I know my father has had you arrested for sorcery so many times, but really, it's ridiculous," he rambled, relieved to see most people nodding. If anything, the manservant went even paler. He cut him off, which Arthur would have protested to, had Merlin said any words other than the ones he did.

"Arthur. It... wasn't faulty. I really do have magic." Arthur frantically shook his head, alarm bells sounding in his head.  
>"NO! No, you can't be! Sorcerers are evil, and... and you aren't! So you can't have magic! You just <em>can't!<em>" He was embarrassingly aware of the pleading note his voice had taken, but he was desperate for proof that his servant, his _best friend, _hadn't lied to him, hadn't betrayed him, had _trusted _him. Merlin sadly shook his head.

"But I do, Arthur. Look." Arthur's jaw dropped as Merlin's hand rose. He knew now that his friend hadn't lied just then, that he really was a sorcerer. For cupped in Merlin's slender hand was an orb, a terribly familiar orb of swirling blueish light.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm sorry! Another cliffie! *hides behind dad's anti-riot shield* Don't hit me! It's my BIRTHDAY! Yeah! So... you can't hurt me! *nods* Yeah! So. Leave a review for the birthday girl who will as of tomorrow be imprisoned at her granny's house until Tuesday WITHOUT INTERNET? Please? Ooh, almost forgot- I have a number one fan! I know! An actual fan! I feel special, and so should **GoldJinx170**, the bestest, nicest fan EVER! I hope you like this reveal as much as the last one! Also, big thank you to everyone who reviewed last time. My computer won't let me reply, so I'll do it here. **Condiotti- **One white chocolate chip butterscotch cookie has been dispatched! **Theodora Helena Miller-** Glad it made you laugh! This chapter isn't very funny but I'm planning another really soon! MWAHAHAHAHA!*hackhackcoughwheeeze* **LadyOfLegend98-** Thank you! I wasn't sure about them, so that's reassuring. **GhostMbwa- **Another cliffie, just for you! **Miyako Hiragawa- **I hope you liked Arthur's reactionto _this _little bombshell! **chocolatecake1- **I hope this was long enough for you! It took me _ages, _but I battled on! For the glory of Sontar! (Oh my God I am _such _a dork!) **wildchild17-**__Thanks! I do try =] **Bluesilvermelody- **Funnily enough, I also hate cliffhangers. Huh. Ironic. **ReadingRaven019- **How's that for reactions? Like? Hate? I know I should have gone into the reactions of the others more, but I really wanted to post this before I'm exiled to my cruel fate at the Technically Challenged Grandparents' house.


	6. InadequateDungeons&Righteous Indignation

The Brotherhood Of The Round Table

Inadequate Dungeons and Righteous Indignation

Arthur stared at the iridescent orb sitting in Merlin's hand. The implications were not lost on him. His thoughts were racing at a phenomenal speed, each realisation slotting into place with a near-audible _clunk._

_CLUNK!  
><em>Merlin had magic.

_CLUNK! _

Merlin wasn't using magic for evil.

_CLUNK!  
><em>Merlin wasn't evil. He almost laughed at the thought of it. Merlin, evil. The very idea was ludicrous to say the least.

_CLUNK!_

Merlin had magic. Merlin wasn't evil. Therefore...

_CLUNK!  
><em>Magic wasn't evil. His father had been wrong. Deep down, he knew that he had always thought that, but had dismissed it as a traitorous, treasonous whisper in the back of his mind. He looked up at Merlin's tense yet determined face.  
>"...O.K."<p>

Merlin sighed in defeat.

"I'll come quietly. Come on, clap me in irons, march me to the dungeons. I know the route. All too well. You know, I'm really surprised no-one ever noticed before, what with all the "He's a sorcerer! Arrest first, burn later! Not too much later!" stuff." He prattled on about Witchfinders and arrests, while Arthur looked on, bemused.

"Merlin? What are you on about?"  
>Merlin quirked an eyebrow. "Well, you're arresting me, aren't you?" The room stiffened. Gwaine yelled out, "Oh <em>hell <em>no!" Gaius looked concerned and Lancelot's grip tightened on his sword.

"Arthur! You can't arrest him! It's _Merlin! _Even if he is a sorcerer!" interjected Elyan. Merlin smiled slightly. That made four friends who still liked him. Not that it would make much difference.

"Guys, it's fine. He's the prince and Acting King. He has to uphold the law, even if he is a prat." Arthur frowned slightly. "I'm not arresting you. I guess I'm fine with it. I'm sure you have a _very _good explanation for it." The last few words came out slighty threateningly, which caused Gaius to shoot him a reproving look, but they were totally unprepared for Merlin's reaction.

The manservant gaped at him, then, closing his mouth with a snap, put his hands on his hips crossly. "_Fine _with it_? __**Fine **_with it? Oh no you don't! You aren't getting away that easily! I have _not _put up with all this stress and worrying and lying just for this day to finally come, and you be _fine with it!_" He didn't seem to realise the irony of his words. "No, _sir! _You are going to be very mad, and clap me in irons, march me to the dungeons and lock me up so I can heroically languish until I finally get it through your thick skull that I'm not evil and never have been! Come on! Let's get it over with, it's nearly dark!" With that, he frogmarched Arthur out of the door and along the corridor, the whole motley crew traipsing, forgotten and befuddled, behind them.

They passed through the doors to the dungeon, leaving several baffled guards in their wake. The prince was being dragged along by his ear, the knights were half running to keep up with Merlin's grasshopper legs, and Gwen had her arm around Gaius helping him keep pace despite his grumbling about young people and their absurd energies. Finally, Merlin stopped and turned expectantly to an utterly bemused Arthur.  
>"Come on then, pick a cell and stick me in it!" Arthur just stared for a minute. Obviously the insanity was cropping up again. He made to take Merlin to the nearest cell, but the young man shook his head stubbornly.<br>"I'm not going in that one, it has a dirty great tarantula in it from when that Caledonian witch got bored when I was last arrested." With a longsuffering sigh, Arthur pointed to the next one. "And _that _one is draughty. I was in there the time before that." This was getting ridiculous, thought the prince. The man was insane! And he had a _freakish _knowledge of the dungeons.

"All right, how about this one?"

"Are you crazy? That's the one with the suspicious stains all over the walls! And the floor! _And _the ceiling! God knows how they got there, and I'm pretty sure he wishes he didn't-"  
>"<em>Mer<em>lin! Would you just pick a cell and get in it!" Merlin gave a great sigh and moved to the cell behind them. He sat down crosslegged on the floor and wiggled a little.

"Hmmmm... not bad. A damn sight more comfy than the second one from the end, that one's just horrible." Arthur ground a palm against his forehead as the knights snickered at his frustration.

"They aren't supposed to be _comfortable, Mer_lin. They are supposed to keep prisoners in, not draughts out. Anyway, can we get to the matter at hand now?"  
>Merlin's jaw set. "Errrr... actually, can I get a transfer? This cell is... too... orange! Yes!" Arthur looked around. The cell was comprised of grey stones and iron bars.<br>"Seriously, Merlin, you really do come up with the _worst _excuses of alll time. It's a miracle I never found out about your... magic before I did. Speaking of which, can we discuss this now?"  
>Merlin sighed. "I suppose we must. We <em>did <em>get the whole arresting business over with, so...Speaking of which, can you let me out now? It's a bit chilly in here." Arthur facepalmed.

"_Right _then Merlin. Enough stalling, and enough with the moving about all ready! I'm sure Gaius is fit to pass out by now, what with all that exertion." They were now back in the meeting room, gathered round the table. Arthur shifted guiltily as Gaius raised an eyebrow threateningly.  
>"I beg your pardon, Sire?"<p>

"Hmm? Oh! Nothing!" Merlin smiled at his guardian. Sometimes Arthur forgot exactly what he was dealing with in the elderly Court Physician, the King of Raised Eyebrows and Querilous Expressions (so named by Gwaine during a drunken ramble). He abruptly stopped when Percival turned to him.

"He has a point. We've been doing a lot of walking for the past... three hours now, and we'd like to hear an explanation." This was met by a chorus of agreement from the exhausted and exasperated knights and Gwen, who were looking distinctly frazzled by now. He felt a stirring of guilt. They were obviously worried about him, and he'd worn them all out what with the trip to the dungeons and their apparent difficulties in finding him earlier. He sighed.  
>"Fine then. Where should I start?"<p>

"How about the beginning? That usually helps," Arthur smirked, ignoring Merlin's half-hearted scowl. "So, when and _why _did you start learning magic?" The occupants of the table leaned in to hear him speak. They were surprised to hear his answer.

"Never. I was born with it."

Arthur shook his head. "That's not possible." Merlin smiled, slightly bitterly.

"_I'm _impossible. I was born to protect you and make sure that you became the king you are destined to be. That's why I have magic. That's why I was _born._" It felt good, after all these years, to finally be telling the truth, no matter how confused Arthur looked.

"Protect me? Merlin, you're more of a danger to yourself than others."

"That's what I like everyone to think. Who pays attention to servants? Anyway, I'll have you know that I've lost count of the number of times I've saved your sorry royal backside." Arthur looked more incredulous by the minute.

"Saved me? Come off it, Merlin." Merlin felt indignation well up for the second time in so many hours.

"That's half my life's work you're belittling! I've been saving you since I first came to Camelot." He started counting, unaware of the growing astonishment of his audience. "I saved you from Lady Helen, I saved you from Valiant's shield- and got fired for it. Then there was the Afanc. I helped you kill that. I drank poison for you-" Arthur flinched. "-then I had to save you when you went to save me." Arthur shook his head.

"You couldn't have done that. I mean, I know that orb looked a lot like the one that saved me, but you were unconscious!" A sudden suspicion struck him. "Just how powerful are you anyway?" Merlin just smiled.

"You could take me apart with one blow. I could take you apart with less than that." Arthur got the feeling that that was all he was going to get out of his irritatingly modest manservant.

"All right then, go on." Lancelot raised a hand.

"Some of us weren't here for all of this, can we get an elaboration?" Merlin sighed. More explanations.

"I'll tell you all that later, I've got enoughg to get through as it is. Right, where was I? Oh yeah. Yes I did conjure it, no I don't know how. I think it was just instinct to protect you." He shrugged. It wasn't that big of a deal. Arthur raised an eyebrow, unconsciously mimicing Gaius.  
>"Hmm... continue..."<br>"Let's see... what happened next? Oh yeah, then you got bitten by the Questing Beast and I had to go to the Isle of the Blessed to save you. Now _that _was a mess. I went to trade my life for yours-"  
>"You did <em>what?" <em>The vast majority of the room yelled at him as one. Merlin cringed slightly.

"What did you go and do that for? If you'd died for the princess, you'd never have had the pleasure of meeting _me_!" Gwaine lightened the mood a little, but Arthur was still fixing Merlin with his best glare.

"What have I told you about trying to play the hero?"  
>"That it doesn't suit me," Merlin parroted dully. "Can I get on with this? It's a very long list you know!" Arthur gave him a disbelieving stare, which he ignored. "Right, so I went to the Isle to trade my life, but Nimueh took my mother''s life instead. I went back to try and fix it, but Gaius beat me there and traded <em>his <em>life, so I got rather annoyed and sort of... blew Nimueh up and traded _her _life for Gaius's." He said the last part very quickly. "Moving on..." He was interrupted by Elyan.

"You did _what?_ How on earth did you manage that?" Merlin winced, something he was doing an awful lot of recently.

"Errrr... which bit? The blowing up or the trading lives? And if it was the latter, which bit?"  
>"How did you blow her up? And how did you manage to trade her life for Gaius's?" Great. Just great. Curse these over-observant knights!<p>

"Umm... lightning and power over life and death, in that order. Moving on now. _Then _Lancelot came into the picture, along with a griffon. I enchanted his lance do it would kill the griffon, but the actual killing was all Lancelot. He sort of noticed though, so I had to tell him about me." Arthur looked incredulous.

"He knew before me? And you didn't tell me?" He addressed the last question to Lancelot, who just shrugged.

"It was not my secret to tell. It would have been dishonourable to betray his confidences, especially since I was not meant to know in the first place." Arthur huffed.  
>"Fine then. Are there any more experiences you've conveniently forgotten to tell me about?"<p>

"Lots, but there's one that you've all got to put the swords/knives/unidentifiable stabby things away before I tell you..." It was now or never. Time to reveal his part in the escape of the Great Dragon.

*****  
>Arthur was internally reeling. He had really been saved so often by the last person he could ever have suspected? It was strange to say the least. Not to mention his manservants insane desire to put himself in harms way to help the prince. His loyalty was staggering. He was also rather suspicious of what Merlin could have possibly done to make him worried about the presence of a dozen sharp and potentially lethal objects in the hands of his friends.<p>

He slowly nodded. "O.K..." He drew his sword, laying it on the table, as did the rest of the knights. Leon spoke for the first time.

"What happened that you would have us lower our weapons? Surely it can't be that bad." Arrthur saw Merlin grimace.

"Famous last words, Leon. I... I was the one who released the dragon."

Merlin sat nervously, waiting for someone to speak. It was torture, watching the shock, confusion, hurt, _anger _on Arthur's face. The rest of the knights weren't much better. Even Lancelot looked surprised.  
>Gwaine was the first to break the silence.<p>

"Well what did you go and do _that _for?" His tone was light, but there was an underlying note of tension. Well, at least nobody was trying to stab him. He decided to keep it short and to the point.

"Kilgharrah made me do it!"  
>Arthur blinked. "Kilgharrah? Who's that?"<br>"Kilgharrah is the Great Dragon. Anyway-"  
>"IS the Great Dragon? <em>IS? <em>You told me I killed it! He's _alive_?" Arthur had risen along with his temper. He needed to be headed off before he could build up steam.

"Yes, he's alive, no you didn't kill him, no I didn't either, yes I freed him, but only because if I din't promise to free him, he wouldn't tell me how to defeat the Knights of Medhir, which is a whole other story. Now, is there anything else you would like to yell about, or are you going to sit down and shut up so can I finish talking?" Struck by Merlin's outburst, Arthur sat down and shut up. Merlin took a breath and went on.

"I met Kilgharrah when I first came to Camelot. He told me it was my destiny to protect you, which I did and have been doing ever since. I went to see him a few times to ask him how to deal with the frankly ridiculous number of magical threats to Camelot and to you, he gave me the answers but wanted me to free him in exchange. I said I would, but I kept putting it off because I was fairly sure he would try to attack the city if I did. In the end he made me swear on my mother's _life _that I would free him, so I did. Then we had to go track down Balinor, who, it turned out, was my father."

Arthur gaped. "What? He was... when did... you...what?"  
>Merlin sighed. This was hard enough to talk about as it was.<p>

"Balinor was my father. Gaius told me just before we left to find him. He jumped in front of a sword meant for me and... died." He stopped for a breath. Gwen's hands were covering her mouth.

"Oh, you poor dear! And you'd only just met him! That's terrible!"

Arthur had come to a realisation. "Hold on... your father was a Dragonlord," he said, slowly. Merlin nodded, resigned.  
>"Your father was a Dragonlord, and Dragonlord powers are passed down the line. From father to son." Merlin nodded again. "That means..."<br>"I'm a Dragonlord. I told Kilgharrah to stop the attack and never do it again or I'd kill him. He has to obey me, so..."  
>Arthur still looked confused.<p>

"Why didn't you just kill him?" To tell the truth, Merlin wasn't entirely sure why he hadn't either. He had just felt this sense that it would be worse than murder to kill the last of the dragons, especially since he too was the last of his kind. To Arthur, he merely shrugged.

"It would have been the wrong thing to do."  
>Arthur stared at him for a moment, the nhuffed. "I give up. I really do."<p>

_  
>AUTHOR'S NOTE- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're done. Just the chapter! Not the story! I have a few seemingly random chapters still to go! I really don't like this one though. It's just sort of an awkward chapter. Anyway, please review? I need them to recover from the trauma of dissecting chicken wings in Biology. It was just... bleeeeuuuuuuurghhhhhhh. <em>Especially <em>when the teacher got us to press on the biceps and make the wing flap about. It was grotesque. It was horrible. Traumatic. Disgusting. Basically... _._

Reviewers also get my undying gratitude! *awkward silence* O.K... how about virtual brownies and ice cream in a flavour of their choice!


	7. Not Cheating, Just Controversial Tactics

The Brotherhood Of The Round Table

Not _Cheating- _Just Controversial Tactics!

Merlin looked on in exasperation at the all-too familiar scene. Arthur was steadily pounding the knights into the bone-dry ground, despite the insufferable heat. Really, you would have thought he'd get bored of thrashing his friends at hand-to-hand combat, but _oh _no! Arthur just _loved _bashing and slashing and mashing and a whole load of other adjectives ending in -ashing. He sighed irritably as Arthur knocked Leon's sword from his hand and held the knight at sword point, before stepping back with a grin. He really needed to be taken down a peg or two.  
>Arthur was in the middle of demonstrating a particularly complicated parry when a startling amount of mud underneath his feet caused him to lose his balance and fall into the swampy slime. It splattered all the way up his thighs and sprayed his face with a generous amount of sludge. The aforementioned face did not look happy.<p>

"Merlin?" The warlock attempted to quell his hysterics, but it was difficult seeing as the prince's beloved blonde locks were dripping with brown goop.

"Yes, Arthur?" Nope, no good. The snickers were clearly audible beneath the attempt at a semi-respectful tone. He wasn't the only one to find the situation funny. Leon smiled, Elyan was giggling, Lancelot faring a little better, while Percival did his best to remain impassive. Gwaine, however, had no such pretences. He was laughing outright, clutching a sword stuck into the ground in order to remain upright, a battle he was steadily losing.

Attempting dignity, Arthur studiously ignored the knights, focussing entirely on Merlin.

"Did you just use magic?"

Oh, dear. The gleam in Arthur's eyes practically screamed "Danger! Danger! Back away! Plan In Progress!" It would be best to answer...

"Errrr... nope? Whatever gave you that idea?" He gave a nervous laugh and stepped backwards. Unfortunately he tripped over an abandoned shield, landing sprawled across the dusty earth. Arthur loomed over him, offering a hand.  
>"Oh, yes you did, <em>Mer<em>lin. And actually... I have a plan."

Oh, boy. He had been right to be nervous.

Gwaine watched as Arthur pulled Merlin up from the field, slapping him on the back. Merlin did not look too excited.  
>"Alright, men, listen up! Today we will be training against magical attacks, with the help of Merlin here. Go easy on him though, he may be a sorcerer but he's still kind of..." The prince picked up Merlin's arm and waved it limply. "... weedy."<br>"Weedy? _Weedy? _I'll give you _weedy, _you... dollop head! And anyway, I am a _warlock," _he stressed. "Say it with me. War-_lock. _Not sorcerer. Sorcerer bad. Warlock awesome." Gwaine nodded thoughtfully. Warlock _did _sound better than sorcerer...  
>Shaking his head, Arthur pushed him forward. "Go on then," he ordered. "Knights- <em>attack!<em>"

The knights remained still, silently looking between each other. They communicated through glances, quite clearly saying something along the lines of _I'm not attacking him! He's my friend! _Gwaine sent one back, accompanied with a sweep of his arm which plainly stated, _Yeah! And look at the size of him! He's a walking twig! Atwig! That __**walks!**_ They were startled when Merlin interrupted_._

"Sorry guys. Prince's orders, you know. I'll try not to hurt you too badly."

They all laughed, apart from Merlin and Lancelot, who had a faint frown of apprehension upon his brow. Apparently Lancelot had known about Merlin's magic before _him, _the amazing Gwaine! Admittedly he had _met _Lancelot first, but still. Gwaine had suspected from the moment he had first clapped eyes on the skinny young man. Come on, there was _no way _that a bloke that small could throw plates _that _far and hard.

Merlin flashed a half smile. "Don't say I didn't warn you." For some reason, those words and that smile caused a little shiver to run down Gwaine's spine.

Arthur grinned as Leon came forward to fight. This was the best idea he'd had since he'd banned Gwaine from singing! Not only did he get to train his men against magic, but he got to wind up Merlin as well! It couldn't be better.

_"Slaepan."_ Leon fell on the dirt, fast asleep and snoring slightly. Arthur stared. Well, _that _had been unexpected.

"Hey! No sleeping spells! That's cheating!" The idiot grinned.

"It isn't cheating, just... controversial tactics." Arthur snorted, smiling.

"Big words for an idiot, _Mer_lin." Merlin just smirked slightly.

"I know a lot more words than you do, actually. Like... _áræman_! _Astrice!" _With the first word, Arthur found himself floating upside down, suspended by his ankles. With the second, the four knights that had been creeping up on Merlin were thrown back. The blood was rushing to Arthur's incredulous face.

"Now _that _definitely isn't fair! Let me down and we'll face you properly." Merlin gave a slightly too sunny grin, before complying quite literally. The prince thudded onto the floor, groaning. The manservant grinned cheekily.

"Now you know how I feel when you decide to make me do "training" with you." Arthur had to give him that one.

"So, rules. No sleeping spells. No non-verbal spells-"  
>"But that's half of my repertoire!"<br>"Too bad. Right, and no undignified upside-down spells."

"And _there _goes the _other _half!"

Gwaine interjected. "And if you mess with my hair, I'll really be very cross with you! And I'll... I'll tell Gaius!" Merlin's jaw dropped.

"Aww, you're taking all the fun out of it! Let's get it over with."  
>Arthur straightened. "GO!"<p>

He barely had time to raise his sword when Merlin's eyes blazed gold.

_"Bewæpnian!_" All of the knights were instantly weaponless, their swords doing a tapdance in the air. Grinning, the warlock made them spell out the word _prat_. Arthur scowled.

"Rematch! No disarming spells!"  
>He wouldn't have been nervous, were it not for that ever-so-slightly evil grin on Merlin's face. <p>

Two hours later, Lancelot was frozen in an ice block, Elyan was unconscious, Gwaine was skipping around singing about milkmaids (to Arthuir's horror) and Arthur was trapped in a bog. For the _seventeenth time_ that day. He growled in frustration.

"_Mer_lin! Get me out of here this minute, or so help me I'll-" Merlin cut him off.  
>"You'll what, exactly? I haven't had this much fun in ages!" But he released the spells anyway. Gwaine's face was comical.<br>"Errrr... why do I feel like I was drunk without the fun parts?"  
>Merlin smiled. "I can't think, Gwaine. Why don't we go to the kitchens and get some food, hmm? NO ale though. We've seen enough of you singing prowess already." With that, he ambled off, hands in pockets and whistling cheerily, with no indication of exhaustion at the hours of continous spell-casting he'd been doing. Arthur could only stare after him in bafflement.<p>

Behind him, Leon finally woke up. Staring around at the wrecked field in complete innocence, he blinked.

"What _happened_?"

AUTHOR'S NOTE- *manic giggles* Poor Leon, out for the count! I just love Merlin finally getting payback for all the "training" Arthur puts him through. I think he'll probably think twice before challenging Merlin again any time soon...

I probably won't be able to update for another week or so. I have this HUGE assessment on the Cherokee and the Trail of Tears, but since the Scottish council is doing a new programme for my year it isn't a normal question and answer quiz-type thing. Oh, no, that would be FAR too simple. Instead, I have to write a ten page ESSAY, not including the necessary title page, chapter list and bibliography. Also, I apologise for the delay, but I had a parent's evening. Not a nice, normal, teachers-arrange-times-for-you-parents-to-come-and-talk-to-them-the-tootl-off-home affair, OH NO! Bloody council means we pupils had to go around EVERY SINGLE ONE of our teachers, arrange a time for a five-minute appointment, leave a five minute gap to get to the next appointment and hope like hell you can fit it all into three hours. I had to WRESTLE a boy in my class to grab the appointment sheet for Chemistry off of him so I could actually get an appointment before nine o'clock at night. (*smug voice* I won) I MISSED a repeat of MERLIN because I had to go BACK to the school for three and a half hours just an hour after I left! Bloody council. *Mutters darkly*  
>Please leave a review! After all that palaver, I think I deserve one, don't you? *puppy eyes*<p> 


	8. Of Swimming, Scars and Secrets

The Brotherhood Of The Round Table

Of Swimming, Secrets and Scars

The heat bore down mercilessly on the unfortunate hunting party, who had long since given up. Two hours ago the weight of their chainmail had beaten them into submission, and they had flopped down on a log to rest, where they hadn't moved from since. Merlin snorted. Wussies, the lot of them. Bandits? No problem. Rampaging monsters? (With a little help from yours truly) Stab, slash, threaten, dispatch. Evil armies? Whack, wallop, bring on the next poor bugger who dares threaten Camelot. But a heatwave? It's the end of the world! Mind you, the armour couldn't be helping much. Somehow he couldn't muster too much sympathy.

"Oi! Wakey wakey! Let's have you lazy daisies!" The knights didn't stir. With a longsuffering sigh, he went up to the nearest dozing knight- Elyan. He bent down to whisper in his ear.

"Arthur is smooching Gwen in public." Instantly, the knight rocketed to his feet brandishing his sword in what his sleepy brain considered a menacing fashion.

"Have at ye, dishonourable cur! Have you no... shame..." He trailed off as he remembered that Gwen had wisely chosen to remain at the castle, enjoying the shade. He gave a half hearted scowl, before cracking a smile.

"I get to wake up Lancelot!"

Five minutes later, once Lancelot had made sure that nobody was being oppressed by flying monkeys, Percival had ascertained that nobody was attacking them with satsumas and a hysterical Gwaine had been assured that the evil pink dragons were _not _consuming all the ale in Albion, Merlin tiptoed over to a miraculously still-snoring Arthur. He rolled his shoulders and pointed a hand at the sleeping prince.

"_Geondgéotan eac wæter!" _Arthur shot up bolt upright, spluttering. He was drenched with water, creating a soggy puddle where he sat. Gwaine snickered.  
>"Had an accident, princess?"<br>Arthur turned a lovely shade of purple. "NO! It was Merlin and his stupid water! I didn't-" Gwaine winked.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much, hmm*?"

Arthur scowled. "If it wasn't so hot..." He let the threat hang, turning to the sniggering warlock.  
>"What was that for?" He complained. "It's too hot to be up! I was sleeping!" Merlin snorted.<br>"I'd noticed. The whole of Camelot heard you snoring, and then some! Anyway, if you're finished napping, you might be interested in knowing that I found a nice, deep, _cold _pond not two hundred yards away." They had gone almost before he'd finished speaking.

"Whooooooooooooo!" Elyan dived into the water, creating an enormous ripple. He surfaced a moment later, gasping for air and grinning. Not to be outdone, Gwaine climbed up onto the large rock which served as a diving point.  
>"<em>GERONIMO!"<em> He cannonballed into the pond, splashing everything in sight. He emerged laughing, cutting off when he saw the unamused expression on the sopping wet prince's face. Coughing guiltily, he could Merlin still sitting on the shore. Rather desperately, he yelled out.

"Merlin! Come on in, it's great! Nice and cold!" Merlin started. He looked rather doubtful. Noticing this, Arthur smiled. "Don't worry _Mer_lin, we won't let the evil killer fish eat you alive! You can swim, can't you?" Prat.

"I'll have you know I was the under twelve diving champion of Ealdor in my day!" Arthur smirked.

"Then come on in and prove it!"

Merlin glowered at him, then stood up. He peeled off his jacket, shirt and neckerchief, and climbed onto the rock. He took a deep breath, then to everyone's surprise, executed a neat double backflip into the pond. The surface of the water was perfectly still, until...

_Splooosh! _Merlin popped up next to Lancelot, spraying him with water. The knight spluttered and spat out water, laughing in spite of himself.

"Impressive, I'll admit. How long did you pra-" He cut himself off, staring at Merlin's chest. Merlin was confused for a moment, then looked down. Oh. The scar Nimueh had given him was quite visible above the lapping tide of the water, as were the numerous other scars he had accumulated over the years. Bugger.

"Ahh..." He looked around for an escape. One did not seem apparent. Gwaine splashed his way over, yelling.

"Nice flip Merlin! Hey Lancelot, what are you looking at? I didn't think you swung that way..." He trailed off as he saw what Lancelot was still staring at.  
>"Bloody hell mate! What <em>happened<em>?" By now Elyan and Percival had joined the party, and were equally horrified by the mess of pale scars on his skin. Rather frantically, Merlin looked around again. Arthur was heading over with a small frown of confusion. Coming to a decision, he pointed over the knights' shoulders.  
>"Oh look! A distraction!" They whipped their heads around as one. Merlin took the opportunity to duck down under the water and make his escape. Unfortunately, he had reckoned without a stubborn prince, who fished him back out and dragged him, spluttering and protesting, to the shore.<p>

Idiot.  
>Really, what kind of moron tries to hide things from the Prince of Camelot and his small army of knights? Only Merlin would so much as consider it. With a great splash, he dragged the skinny man out of the water, flopping down on the warm grass. Now to find out what brought on the fish impersonations. He sat up and turned to Merlin, only to freeze in shock.<br>Scars. Lots of them. Thick, thin, short, long, he was covered in silvery lines all over his arms and torso. The main one was an angry round burn mark on his chest. Slowly, Arthur raised his head and looked at Merlin.  
>"What <em>happened?"<em>

AUTHOR'S NOTE- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of dreamydaydreamer's sanity into the next world. This tragic event was the product of a combination of stress, exhaustion, homework and frustration- specifically, the poor girl spent the last few weeks working her backside off on her history project, somehow finding time to write this (admittedly bad) chapter, fit in her other homework, scrape together a few hours of time to eat and sleep, _and _finally work her way up the year long waiting list into the Girl Guides (guess what? She lives in a town called Peebles, which was the first town in Scotland to have a Girl Guide troop, and possibly the first in the world, but she can't check the last bit, being insane), sacrificing her lunchtimes to sit at a computer in the stuffy History department printing out page after page which had to be copied and pasted into an email and sent then copied back into a document because her computer was an arsehole and decided that it wasn't compatible with the school programs, then managing to LOSE the (VERY LONG) list of websites she used which she needed for her bloody BIBLIOGRAPHY! At this point, her sanity passed away and she descended into madness. Hey! Put down the chains_aaaaaaaarghhhhhhh!_


	9. Of Swimming, Scars and Secrets II

The Brotherhood Of The Round Table

Of Swimming, Scars and Secrets II

The soft breeze was the only sound in the clearing. The lake had stilled, its previous occupants now locked in a staring match which the young warlock was rapidly losing. Finally, he blinked and sighed, breaking the silence.

"I don't have to tell you, Arthur. Or any of you really. I bet you all have some scars, right?"

Gwaine scoffed loudly.  
>"Yeah, <em>some<em>. One or two from battles, but... mate, you look like a cutting board!"  
>Merlin snorted. "Now that's a little bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?"<br>Lancelot spoke quietly. "No, it isn't. It really isn't." They looked again to the manservant's chest. Uncomfortable, he crossed his arms, feeling exposed.

"If it's all the same to you, I'll be getting dressed now..." he edged away from the knights and Prince, turning to beat a hasty retreat.

"_Oofffurgh!" _Suddenly, his face was planted in the dry ground as he was made the victim of a brutal group dog-pile/tackle/shove to the floor.

"You aren't getting away _that_ easily, Merlin! You are going to inform us as to _exactly _you, the one who couldn't tell a sword from a slightly pointy stick, have a damn sight more scars than any of us, the best swordsmen in Camelot." There he went, using the prattish voice again. Honestly, it lost more effect every time he used it, and it was more than a little boring by now.

"Let's see... how about we head back now? Anyway, you said yourself, you've all got scars, right?"

Elyan spoke up. "We all have one or two scars. We're knights- dying is an occupational hazard. Just ask Leon here. He's like the amazing bouncing knight, constantly springing up when everyone thought he was dead..." Arthur cleared his throat pointedly. "Anyway, we don't have anywhere near as many scars as you do, and we have good reason to have them. We're understandably curious!"

"Is there any way I can get out of this?" Merlin groaned, wishing he was back in the castle, in the shade and far away from nosy knights. Sadly it was not to be, and he was stuck in a field next to a group of over curious men still sitting on the ground from when they had pounced on him.

"Might as well get it over with,mate! The princess will get too hot if we leave her out in the sun for too long, and _then _we'll see a tantrum!" The handsome knight procured a flask from _somewhere _(they were never to figure out where) and sat back, totally relaxed. Arthur growled.

"Right then. Where did you get _this _one?" He hauled Merlin to his feet and stabbed a finger at a thin scar on his slender wrist.

"That one's actually a twin!" He held up both wrists, displaying two silvery lines which circled them. "Do you know _how _many times I've been arrested for sorcery then pardoned?" He snorted at the irony. "Those manacles aren't exactly comfy you know, and as for the cells..." Arthur butted in before he could launch into yet another rant about the inadequacies of the dungeons, trying not to feel too guilty about all the times he had been made to arrest his servant.

"Changing the subject, Merlin? How about this one?" He pointed at Merlin's stomach where three parallel scars ran from the hip to mid-waist. The young man shrugged.

"Close run-in with a sphinx. It was actually after you during a hunting trip, but I waylaid it before it could get too close. Trouble follows you everywhere, doens't it?" The knights spluttered as one. Regaining his breath, Lancelot choked out, "Do I detect a hint of hypocrisy there?" Merlin just grinned, unabashed. "So how about this one?" Arthur and Gwaine had to walk around Merlin to see from Lancelot's angle, an angry red circle on Merlin's lower back.

The warlock shuddered slightly. "Serket sting. Nasty things, I wouldn't recommend one for a pet. Well, maybe to Lord Ffroenuchel..." He trailed off, sensing the aura of disbelief. "What?"  
>"Merlin," said Arthur slowly, as he would speak to a child. "How are you still alive?"<p>

Merlin gave his best jaunty smile. "A combination of luck, skill and dragons. The magic helps too," he added as an afterthought. Arthur was not amused.

"_Mer_lin. How on earth did you manage to run into a Serket? More importantly, how did you not die?"

"I had a run in with Morgause and Morgana, and we just happened to be in the Darkling Woods. I tried to fight them off, but one stung me. I called Kilgharrah, he roasted them and healed me. But you know me, I'm pretty hard to get rid of."

"I hadn't noticed," muttered Arthur faintly, with no small amount of sarcasm. "But... Serkets? Really? I honestly don't know how you get into these situations." He shook his head, ridding himself of all bafflement. "Right. _This_ one-" he jabbed a finger at the young man's left forearm. "- I remember. You got cut when the Knights of Medhir cornered us. What about this one?" He directed his gaze at some smaller scars on Merlin's shoulder. It looked like he had scraped it on something pointy, possibly a mace.

"You should remember that one as well. You're the one who gave it to me." Seeing Arthur's confusion and disbelief, he elaborated. "Maces? Fighting? Market? Prattishness?" He prompted . Arthur's eyes widened in recognition as he remembered. The others remained confused.

"What?"

"Fighting?"  
>"Maces?"<br>"He was a prat then too? I thought it was an acquired thing?" Unsurprisingly, the latter was Gwaine. The warlock winced.  
>"Let's just say that Arthur and I didn't really hit it off from the start." Arthur snorted.<p>

"He insulted me and tried to hit me, I arrested him, then the next day I insulted him, next thing I know we're chasing each other through the lower town with maces." His eyes widened in sudden realization. "HEY! Did you use magic to keep tripping me up?" His tone was one of such indignation that Merlin had to laugh.  
>"...<em>may<em>be... ow gerroff you prat or I'll soak you again!" Seeing as the sun had dried him off nicely by now, Arthur decided to postpone the homocidal tendencies. Percival spoke for the first time.

"So, where did you get that one on your chest? The burn mark?" That quietened the giggles left over from Arthur's "attack". The man sighed.

"When Arthur got bitten by the Questing Beast, I went to the Isle of the Blessed to trade my life for ghis. I gave you the basic version already, right?" Encourage dby the nods, he continued. "Nimueh traded my mother's life insted of mine though, so I went back to make her fix it." Gwaine interrupted.

"Wait, you went alone, to a magical island, to meet a psycho sorceress and _make _her do what you wanted?" Seeing a nod, he whistled. "You don't do things by halves do you?" A shake of a raven haired head. "You just went up even more in my estimations. Continue."  
>Faintly flushed, Merlin went one. "Gaius beat me therethough, and Nimueh killed <em>him <em>intstead of me. Predictably, I got very... irritated by that, so I got in a fight with her." He winced as Arthur processed that.  
>"You <em>fought <em>a High Priestess of the Old Religion? Are you insane? Forget that, silly question really, you _are _insane, you have no sense whatsoe-"  
>"Arthur! Still here,you know!" Abashed, Arthur quieted. "Anyway, she was winning and shot a fireball at me and burned my chest, which I thought was a bit harsh, I had every right to be-" Someone cleared their throat. "O.K., so then she was gloating, and then-" he paused again. "I got <em>really <em>mad at her and sort of... blew her up with lightning. Since she had died, Gaius came back to life and the balance was restored. I also gained power over Life and Death," he added as an afterthought.

"Silence again.  
>"You blew her up?"<br>"Yes."  
>"With lightning?"<br>"Yes."

"Power over Life and Death?"  
>"Yes."<br>"Okaaaaaaaaaayy..." Gwaine cleared his throat. "What about this one?" He poked Merlin in the ribs, drawing attention to a jagged silver line. The warlock sniggered.

"I fell over when I was eight and scratched myself on a spade."

The assembled company stared at him again.

"What?" he asked, rather defensively. "They can't all be heroic battle wounds, I'll have you know. And for your information, that spade hurt." Just like that, the serious mood had been broken. They soon descended into normal chatter and banter, and Merlin was finally allowed to retrieve his shirt, for which he was eternally grateful. It was when they were making their way back to Camelot that Gwaine spoke.

"We've exhausted the subject of Merlin, now we need a new victim! Leon, what's up with the whole refusing-to-die, Bouncing Knight Of Camelot thing?" Merlin groaned. It was going to be a long ride.

AUTHOR'S NOTE TAKE TWO- Looks like I have some EAGLE EYED reviewers who noticed that I forgot to put in about the fireball scar. Damn it, I KNEW I forgot something! Curse you, scattered brain... I suppose it's a good sign that you all care enough to notice a mistake big enough to drive a herd of Hippogriffs through. But I made it extra-long for you, and I added in the mace scars!

I love you all! Especially you reviewers... nudge nudge wink wink...

Also, my computer doesn't seem to be actually sending my replies to your aforementioned lovely reviews, so I've been sitting here thinking that everyone's happy, questions answered, thanked, etc. etc. when actually my reply never arrives. Bugger. And it didn't half take some work to figure _that _out! Ahem, anyway, I'll have to reply here.

**GoldJinx- **Really? I'm not sure which I'm more astounded at, that my number one fan has the same gangster name as me or that she actually succeeded in finding sense in my mess of a profile o.O Either way it's epic! **merlinismylife- **Congratulations on being the first to notice! *voice loses congratulatory tone* You made me spit out my hot chocolate in shock. *Normal voice* Well done!

**Yabbit- **I'm so glad you like it! **wildchild- **Really? Thanks! I do try... **toreneko-chan- **I also laughed at ze spade. Which is kind of sad since I wrote it. Damn it. Thank God, I get the Easter holidays in three weeks and two and a half days. Not that I'm counting or anything. Hmmmph. **Alice Harkey- **I love How To Train Your Dragon! Even though it definitely tooj a lot of creative liberties with the books. I only just realized that I'd done that! Good spotting! **DeaththeKidKat- **Don't worry! I have another chapter on the way! Just hang on in there! **ReadingRaven- ** Another person with hyper-alert senses! Congratulations! It's you lot that made me turn back and fix it, so thanks for the metaphorical kick in the backside. OH MY GOD that's the most reviews I've EVER had! *Hyper squeeing* YAY! **CeCe- **Mine are Shut Up, Astronaut and This Song Saved My Life. I love most of them though, so...

AUTHOR'S NOTE TAKE ONE- Has anybody listened to Simple Plan? I love them so much... I've got Shut Up stuck in my head, which isn't good as I should be revising for my Chemistry test. It seems like only a few days ago that I turned in the fabled (21 pages!) History essay on the history of the conflicts between the nurrrrmphlenurrrmphle and the hrrrumhrrrrum, specifically concentrating on the yadayadayada. I found the bibliography by the way! I really pushed the boat out with the extra 6 pages... Hey, I've just realised that half of my AN's have been about that bloody essay. Hmmmph. So, you liked The Tale Of The Epically Long Essay? Well, stay tuned for The Crushingly Chaotic Chemistry Test! (of DOOM!) Does anybody know anything about chemical bonds in relation to the "magic seven" elements? Me neither. Bugger. Here we go again...


	10. Death of a Tyrant, Birth of a Legend

The Brotherhood Of The Round Table

Death of a Tyrant, Birth of a Legend

Arthur stared at his dying father in numb shock. He had always known that this day would come, had had years to prepare for it, yet it still felt like he had been socked in the stomach with a rather large... thing. Oh, just perfect. He was turning into Merlin. The aforementioned warlock was silent behind him. The soon-to-be king stared, transfixed, at the shuddering rise and fall of Uther's chest. Once it stopped, the kingdom would be thrown into turmoil. What did one _do _at the death of a tyrant? Weep for the loss of a man, or celebrate the end of an oppression? More importantly, what would _Arthur _do? His coronation would be in two days time, forever marking him as King Arthur of Camelot and bringing an end to his... not _childhood-_ that ship had sailed long ago- but more of the sense of childhood. The freedom that most people barely even thought about would no longer be his. He would have to account for his every decision and have a damn good excuse for any absences.

And then there was the matter of the old king. His father. The man who had raised him, taught him to fight, to rule, but had barely ever shown affection. His mind drifted back to one of the rare instances he had seen Uther display any emotion towards Arthur in public.

_Swords flashed in the sunlight, throwing dazzling reflections onto the flagstones. Seven year old Arthur stubbornly ploughed on, despite the weight of the sword and the exhaustion he felt. He was the prince after all, and what kind of prince can't even put up with training? He dodged back to avoid the gentle swipe Leon sent at him.  
>"Ah!" Tired, his footing slipped and the boy hit the ground. Pain erupted on the back of his head as he heard a sickening crack.<em>

_"Arthur!" Leon threw down his sword and rushed to the prince's side, feeling his pulse. _

_"What is going on here?" The king, on his way to supervise the training just a moment too late._

_"Arthur! What happened here?" he demanded of the knights, who looked terrified. _

_"He slipped and cracked his head," one offered. The king was not impressed._

_"And you haven't done anything about it? He is _bleeding _from the _head! _Get him to Gaius, Sir Leon!" Leon nodded, carefully scooping up the small boy, who groaned as he was hit by a wave of naseau. Uther's jaw tightened, and as Arthur was carried off he could dimly hear the unmistakable sounds of The Right Royal Tantrum, as he would later think of it as._

_"-could have been seriously harmed, could have __**died**__... future king... future of all of __**Camelot**__... standing gawping like ninnies... call yourselves knights?" _

_Later he had visited Arthur in his rooms, standing slightly awkwardly by the bed as if he had never seen an invalid before.  
>"I hope you are feeling better now, no thanks to the knights. Gaius says you should be well in a day or so." Although it wasn't exactly a question, Arthur still felt compelled to answer.<em>

_"Yes sire. It was partly my fault- I wasn't watching my footwork properly." Uther was surprised at the formality of the boy, but reminded himself that this was his son after all.  
>"Good. Be sure not to do it again." With a nod, he went to leave, almost reaching the door before stopping.<em>

_"Oh, hang it all," he muttered, spinning around. He hugged Arthur briefly then left, leaving a bemused boy in his wake._

He blinked as he came back to himself. The king's chest shuddered, then fell. With a gasp, Uther opened his eyes and looked at his son.

"Arthur," he rasped. "You're... here."  
>Arthur rushed to his father's side, standing over him. Merlin started, and hesitantly moved to stand behind him. He had never been comfortable around the king, and since Merlin's revelation a few weeks ago, Arthur could see why. He looked back at the dying king.<p>

"Father?" The king sighed, a brief exhalation of air he could not afford to waste. He coughed, a long wracking cough which shook his whole frame. Arthur stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Merlin, however, rushed forward with a glass bottle full of a gloopy mixture that Arthur didn't even want to contemplate. Normally, Gaius would be the one force-feeding Uther foul-smelling, tasting and looking concoctions, but he wasn't here.  
>"Where's... Gaius?" the king choked out. Arthur blinked. He did <em>not <em>feel a burning sensation behind his eyes. He was _not at all _affected by how helpless his father was, no way.

"He's not here, father. He's treating illness in the southern villages. We sent him a message yesterday, but he won't be back for another day at least." The king sighed.  
>"My last friend. I drove... them all away. Don't ruin your life like mine, Ar...thur. Promise me." The king, seeming stronger, wrapped his hand around Arthur's wrist like a vice. He had never seen the king like this, so desperate and frail. He blinked again, feeling very young.<p>

"Father?"  
>"Promise... me. Don't be... like I was. Do good." With that, the king closed his eyes, his breathing harsh again. Arthur shhok his head and looked desperately to Merlin.<br>"Do something! Anything!" Merlin shook his head.  
>"I... can't. He's dying." Was it his imagination, or was he crying? It would be just like Merlin to be upset over the death of the man who persecuted his kind. Arthur sighed at sat down. There was nothing to be done.<br>King Uther Pendragon passed away in the early hours of the morning, just after Gaius returned. The next day would be the day of the new king's coronation.

Merlin surveyed the expansive room in front of him. There was nothing different about it- it was the same as it had always been, since he had arrived in Camelot. The prince was snoozing in the enormous bed- nothing new there. The thick, embroidered curtains were covering the wide windows, as usual. The table was in the same place as always, with Arthur's jacket discarded on the chair. So why did it feel so different? He stood there for a moment, puzzling it out, when it hit him. This was the last morning he would ever wake up Prince Arthur- the last night anyone would. As of this afternoon, he would be king. Briefly, he squashed down the strange feeling of loss welling up in him. What had happened to all those years? It seemed like only a few months ago he had been fighting Arthur in the marketplace. He smiled as he realised how far Arthur had come since then. From an arrogant, supercilious prat who believed he owned the world to a halfway decent prince, in just a few short years. He shook his head and went to wake up the sleeping prince.  
>"Good morning sire! Up and at 'em!" The lump in the bed stirred and groaned what sounded suspiciously like "Bugger off Merlin." The warlock frowned slightly, raising his voice.<br>"Shake a leg! You don't want to be late for your big day, _King _Arthur!" Arthur shot bolt upright.  
>"Oh, hellfire!" He half-fell out of bed and started pulling on clothes haphazardly. Merlin snickered as the sleepy prince pulled a shirt onto his foot.<br>"Arthur! Open your eyes at least! As far as I'm aware, _that _is a pair of breeches and not designed to be worn on the heads of half asleep soon-to-be-kings, you clotpole." Arthur slumped against his bed, eyes now fully open and ever so slightly terrified.

"Merlin... I don't want to be king." Merlin froze.

"You what?" Where was the confidence? The ambition? The determination? The... the... Arthurishlikeness! ...it's a word!

"My father is the king. Not me. He should be here." Merlin felt a weight in his stomach. Arthur had lost his father, like him. Here he could sympathise.  
>"Arthur. Your father isn't the king any more. You have to be. No ifs, no buts, no coconuts. This is what your whole life has been leading up to." Arthur didn't look convinced.<br>"What if I turn out like my father? He was... cruel. I don't want to be like that. He told me not to, but... what if I can't help it?" Ah. So _that _was it.  
>"Arthur." Something in his tone brooked no argument. "You are going to be a great king. I know it. More than that, it's your <em>destiny <em>to become a great king- the greatest in history. In a thousand years, though we will be dead and Camelot may be gone, people will still talk of King Arthur of Camelot and his extraordinary feats." He had no idea where this was coming from, but it was working, so he ran with it. "A great king is good. You've got that part down. They are also compassionate. I'm still alive, so that's working. A great king is brave, and protects the people. You've done that so many times I've lost count. A great king is brave, and faces his fears like a man. After all, true courage is not the absence of fears and insecurities, but the ability to look past them. Come on. You need to get that part done with, and actually become king." Arthur offered a small smile.  
>"When did you get so good with speeches?" Merlin rolled his eyes playfully.<br>"With you, you big drama queen, I've had plenty of practice."  
>"Hey! It's king, I'll have you know. I have double the power over the stocks now."<p>

Arthur confidently sat before Geoffrey, taking his oaths. It still seemed slightly surreal, but before he could reflect on that, there was a sudden weight on his head and people were whispering excitedly.  
>"...then I hereby crown you King Arthur of Camelot." The crowd burst into applause, though he could still here a long whistle from the middle row. Looking over, he rolled his eyes at Gwaine.<br>"Woohoo! Party at the princess- _Queen's _house!" Despite the way in which it was phrased, most people deemed it a good idea and headed to the great hall for the feast. Merlin popped up beside Arthur.  
>"So... King, eh?"<br>"Yup."  
>"Any regrets?"<br>"Nope."

"Good."  
>For a moment, there was only silence. Then-<br>"Can you release the laws on magic now? Please? Go on, strike while the iron's hot!"  
>Arthur sighed. Some things never changed.<br>_

AUTHOR'S NOTE- Blimey. That was... interesting. I know Uther and Arthur were probably out of character, BUT, I have a 'scuse note! *fishes out crumpled piece of paper* I was off school for the last few days (YAY!) with a stomach bug (not so yay) which may afford me the excuse of writing under the influence of an illness. Anyway, I think Arthur is partially believable- the man just lost his father, and is now having his father's responsibilities thrust upon him, the day after Uther's death. On top of that, he's scared of turning out to be a tyrant like Uther. So... yeah.  
>I got deviantart! I can't draw for toffee, so it's mainly for the journal. Now I have somewhere other than here to complain about schoolmake sarcastic comments on life/be random!Here it is!(take out the stars) *http:/stareatthestarrysky.*/*  
>Since it came to my attention that I post half of my life story in each AN... OOOH! I nearly forgot! TEN-<strong>SHUN<strong>! ABOUT FACE! ADVANCE IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION! For any sane/nonmilitary-lingo-seaking people, that translates as stop, turn around and head right back where you came from- I EDITED THE LAST CHAPTER as a result of people pointing out a plot hole large enough to stash Scotland in. So go on. Shoo. Chop chop pip pip toodle peep!


	11. One Whiff of a Barmaid's Skirt

The Brotherhood Of The Round Table

One Whiff of a Barmaid's Skirt

(Or, A TABLE? Seriously?)

"Gwaine, must we? Really? There was nothing mentioned in your plan about going to the tavern! I distinctly remember you coming _out _of the tavern just before you accosted us and persuaded us into going on a walk with you!" The night was rapidly darkening, staining the sky an inky blue. It transpired that Gwaine's idea of a short stroll was very different from the rest of Camelot's, having lasted four hours and involved a horde of bees (which Elyan sat on), semi-poisonous mushrooms (which Gwaine did his best to sample) and an irritated mumma bear baying for Percival's blood. Merlin still wasn't sure how Gwaine had managed to convince Elyan and Percival to come along, but then again, he wasn't sure he _wanted _to know. The knight just grinned charmingly.  
>"But that's how all of my best plans- all of my <em>plans<em>, even- start end end! With a trip to the tavern!" He gave the assorted company a "duh" look.  
>"Come <em>on, <em>Merlin, I bet you've never even been drunk! We all have to start somewhere!" He gave a tug on the young man's arm and wrestled him into the building.  
>"Need I remind you that magic is now legal and if I felt like it I could turn you into a girl?" Gwaine blanched.<p>

"There are _restrictions, _Merlin! Nice, safe _restrictions_! So, no, you can't!" He seemed to be trying to convince himslef rather than Merlin, who continued thoughtfully.  
>"Maybe nine, ten. I'm seeing pigtails and a frilly dress..." He was cut off by Elyan.<p>

"Come on, Merlin. Even Gwaine couldn't get you drunk! There's nothing to worry about and no reason to go turning him into a girl- however appealing it may be." He finished by guiding Merlin to the bar and plonking him on the stool. Frowning slightly, Merlin conteplated his lack of enthusiasm towards drinking. They didn't have a tavern in Ealdor, and living as a secret warlock in Camelot had given him an inclination to stay away from anything that could make him lose control. He looked around the tavern. He could sense magic in three or four people around the room. Just two months after magic had been reintroduced, and already it was more or less accepted by the citizens. Admittedly, it had taken several days of him pointedly helping Gaius on his rounds and doing what potions and poultices never could for them to thaw out, but they had warmed up to the idea of having magic to preserve and protect them.

_SLAM!  
><em>His musing waas rudely interrupted by a mug whistling over his head and thunking into the wall behind him. Looking around for the source of the disturbance, he located Gwaine, Percival and Elyan sitting surrounded by what looked like half of the stock of ale. Sighing fondly, he joined them at the table.  
>"Is this much alcohol really necessary?" Gwaine gave him a look of astonishment.<br>"Merlin, thish ish the shmallesht amount of ale you'll see all night." In retrospect, that might have been a sign that he should get out while he could, but then again, Merlin never was too good at reading signals.

*****

"Come on, you can't lose to this pipsqueak!"  
>"Go on lad, I'm betting on yer!"<br>"Get it down you!"  
>The scene was one from Arthur's worst nightmares. Scratch that- even he couldn't dream up such a scenario. Fifteen wooden tables were duking it out in the air with earsplitting crashes, seemingly alive, while the cutlery flew in V formation overhead, occasionally dropping down to shoot peas at the tables. The floor of the bar around the only static wooden table was littered with empty tankards and pitchers, and slippery with spilt ale. Elyan lay passed out on the floor, a puddle of vomit to his left. Percival was snoring like a thunderstorm, face down in a plate of stew. Gathered around the table were a large crowd of patrons, all shouting, yelling and exchanging money. The entire inn reeked of alcohol, but the part that made Arthur stop and rub his eyes in disbelief was seeing what they were betting on.<p>

Gwaine and Merlin were eyeballing each other as they chugged down mug after mug of beer. Judging by the betting, they were fairly matched, which beggered all belief. Merlin was the type whom, upon looking at him, would be knocked over by a well aimed prod, let alone drink his way through- Arthur swiftly counted the discarded tankards next to the sorcerer- _twenty-seven _mugs of ale. Pushing his way through the throng, he decided to make his presence known.  
>"<em>AHEM." <em>

The crowd froze. Gwaine spat out his ale, then frowned in the vague direction of the spilt liquid. Merlin affected a puzzled expression and marshalled his voice into what he evidently thought was a fair approximation of sober.

"Hullo Arthur, your Kinglyness, sire, Prince Pratly Pendragon! What brings you here?"  
>Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. The crowd backed awy slowly.<br>"Oh, I don't know, Melrin, perhaps I was curious as to where on earth my Court Sorceror and three of my knights disappeared to for seven hours. Upon _finding _them- which was no small feat, let me tell you." He shuddered, recalling one old lady who was convinced that Arthur had been looking to steal her artichoke. That had not gone particurlarly well. He went on hastily. "Upon finding them, I discover previously inanimate objects battling it out for the title of All Albion Most Violent Furniture Award, two unconscious knights, one lying in a puddle of his own vomit and the other in a plate of stew, one knight in an even more drunken state than usual, and a totally blootered sorceror!" His voice had risen dangerously by the end. The tavern as rapidly emptying in anticipation of a fight, but some braver/more plastered souls were hanging around to watch. Merlin frowned.

"It's not Elyan's vomit. He's just lying in it. And I am not drunk!" He gave his usual charming smile, which would have been a great deal more effective were he not directing it six inches past Arthur's left earlobe.

Arthur groaned. "I can't believe this..." He stalked over to the sorcerer and hoisted him over his shoulder. He pulled a singing Gwaine to his feet and shoved him in the direction of the door, then looked around for aid in transporting the sleeping knights. After a moment, five men detached themselves from the crowd and proceeded to manhandle Percival and Elyan up to the castle. Merlin seemed unusually quiet, so Arthur shook him a bit. His only response was a snore and what sounded like a mumbled hex. Groaning, the king looked to his assistants.  
>"Thank you," he grunted, hoisting Merlin up higher. This was <em>not <em>how he had planned spending his first few months as a ruler; dragging two sleeping knights and unconscious magician totally gazeboed out of the tavern with Gwaine currently unaccounted for but certaibly sozzled.

Looking somewhat embarrassed to be addressed by the king, the youth nearest to him shifted.

"It's an honour to help the Knights of the Round Table, sire," he offered. "Despite how... inbriated they may be."  
>Suddenly, a loud voice sent them jumping in shock.<p>

"They named us after the _table?_ You have got to be joking." Gwain sauntered rather haphazardly towards the group of men, talking all the while.

"The Knights of Stupendousness? Of Brilliance? Of Stellar Looks? Of Brave Deeds? Amazing Hair? No. A _table. _Honeshtly. It's all your fault, princesh- er, Queenie. You and your equality thing!"  
>Arthur scowled, remembering the whole round table debacle. He flinched as a loud crashing started up again from the tavern, and Merlin emitted a sleepy giggle.<p>

"And speaking of tables..." Gwaine hiccuped.

"Run?"  
>"Run."<p>

AUTHOR'S NOTE- OOWWWWWWWWWWW! I had my third HPV jag on Wednesday, and it STILL hurts! If I run my hand over it I can feel a hard, irregular lump like I cut open my skin, shoved a small rock under it and sewed it back up again. I'm the one who always has the worst reaction to the jags, but at least that was the last on! Until my polio booster next year T.T  
>I went to the Scottish Borders Dance Festival today! We danced to Run by Snow Patrol and me and my friends used 38 pages of my A5 notebook documenting the experience and passing notes.<p>

It's very hot this week, especially for Scotland. I might as well enjoy it, because we'll have used up all the good weather by summer.

My 100th reviewer was **Riley**! But since you weren't signed in I can't promo you.  
>My 100th email regarding the story was <strong>GoldJinx170<strong>, my #1! I shall be revamping my mess of a profile and I shall bpromote you! We shall have a magnificent garden party and they aren't invited. (5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,007 brownie points if you can find out who said that!)  
>It has come to my attention that I am a big, fat LIAR. Think back to my first AN... yup. I said this would ony be two or three chapters. Ah well! I think this is the penultimate chapter, my dears. It's been fun! Please leave a review! Reviewers get virtual CAKE, and TRUFFLES, and DAIRY MILK, and, and, and WHITE CHOCOLATE FUDGE! (so... creamy... omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom!)


	12. When Merlin Gets Mad

The Brotherhood Of The Round Table

When Merlin Gets Mad

Merlin whistled as he ambled into Arthur's room. Marriage and kingship had unfortunately not miraculously changed his slobbish ways, he mused, gazing at the strewn clothes and random _stuff _all over the floor in quiet amazement. Shaking his head, he flicked his hand and the room was cleaned, then filled with the sound of a full, trumpeting fanfare blaring. Arthur woke up with a yell and immediately slumped back down, groaning.  
>"I don't want to go to school today, 'kay?" Stifling a snigger, Merlin called over.<br>"Oi, shake a leg. You don't want to be late to work, _King _Arthur!" Arthur groaned louder.  
>"Urghhh... I'm king. I can call in sick if I want to."<br>"Well, yes, you could," agreed Merlin brightly, nodding. "But not today. Don't you remember what happens today?"  
>The king stirred irritably. "I don't know, <em>Mer<em>lin. Enlighten me, what exactly is so important today that you have to wake me up at such an ungodly hour?"  
>Ignoring the phenomenal amount of sarcasm injected into those "Awww, don't worry Arthur. You're <em>way <em>past the beauty sleep thing, trust me*." Expertly freezing the goblet which had been rapidly bearing towards his face, he took a moment to reflect on how much he loved being able to use magic in front of Arthur. Only a few months ago he would have been forced to duck or let the projectile connect with his nose. Grinning, he stepped out of the way and let the missile continue its path through the open door and into the corridor. They both jumped as they heard loud cursing-presumably the goblet had found another target. Wincing slightly, Merlin continued.  
>"Anyway, today you have a visit from a Sir Ffroenuchel Sugno-Fyny of Caerlaverock, with a proposition for the new king of Camelot. Oh, and he doesn't know that you revoked the ban on magic. Should be interesting, hmm?" By now Arthur was up and wolfing down his food.<br>"Ugh. I wonder what he wants? He had a big treaty with my father, but he never told me what it was about." He frowned and stood up to get dressed. Merlin followed him.  
>"Looks like you're about to find out..."<p>

They came in a golden carriage, ornate and more than slightly ostentatious. A portly man, positively dripping with jewels, his cape lined with fur and edged with gold. Merlin frowned in distaste. Behind the portly man stood another man, radically different from the first. Where the former was short and rounded, this man was tall and lean. Also, while the first man was evidently rich in a vulgar, laughable way, this man was scruffy, sullen and gave off what Merlin immediately decided to refer to as Bad Mojo- a weird feeling that Something was very bad about the man. Just looking at him gave him shivers.  
>He jolted back to himself as the fat man's voice boomed through the courtyard.<p>

"ARTHUR Pendragon! How _nice _to meet you!" He all but roared. Subtly massaging his ears, Arthur winced.

"The same to you..." He glanced at the piece of parchment concealed in his palm. "...Sir Ffroenuchel. And who might this be?" He gestured to the sulky beanpole behind Sir Ffroenuchel, for courtesy's sake. He really could happily live for the rest of his life without having to putting up with Sir Snooty McSnootle and Scruffy B. Pole making him get up before midday. Not that he was bitter or anything.

Not at all... HOLY snickerdoodle that man had a loud voice! And it wasn't polite to interrupt the king's ponderings, no matter how uncharitable they may be. Evidently, nobody had told this...Ffroenuchel Sugno-Something that, however.  
>"OH, how could I forget? This is my... assistant, Drwg Ymlusgo! As you know, we have a proposition for you! Let's go inside, eh? We can discuss it in your meeting hall!" With that, he swept his way towards the castle, Drwg ghosting along behind him. The portly noble paused before entering the castle, looking over his shoulder.<br>"You there, servant! Get our bags, would you?" And with that, he left, leaving a gaping Arthur behind.

"He- but- you- rude- loud- _what?" _Arthur was thoroughly irritated. That obese imbecile, swanning aroud _his _kingdom, inviting himself in, insulting his friend and acting like a... a...  
>"Prat." Merlin voiced his thoughts exactly.<br>"How presumptuous. You're the Court Sorceror, not a servant."  
>"Well, I know that, YOU know that, all of CAMELOT knows that, but he's not from here- HE doesn't know that. It's not like I go around with a beard, wearing a pointy hat and bright purple starry robes while waving a big stick around, is it? He doesn't even know magic is legal."<p>

Arthur thought for a moment. If Ffroenuchel thought Merlin was a common servant, he would be less likely to be on his guard around him, giving the sorceror the perfect disguise.

"Merlin?"  
>"Yes Arthur?"<br>"How would you like to be a servant?"  
>"Not particularly. I've seen enough of your stables to last for several lifetimes."<p>

"_Mer_lin..."  
>"Oh, fine then. If only because I know why you want me to."<br>"Yes, I need my stables mucked out."  
>"Prat."<br>"Idiot."

"Ffroenuchel."  
>"Ouch. Harsh."<p>

Merlin ran a hand through his inky hair, abandoning all attempts to remain composed. That pompous, overstuffed prat had him run ragged! "Fetch my trunk, get me wine, do this, do that, Cinderelly Cinderelly!" For once, he wasn't talking about Arthur. No, that particular prat had improved greatly since their first meeting, but now he had a new person to deal with. Hmmph. Cure one prat, a worse one comes along. Nice. Not to mention that weird Drwg person, skulking around with that horrible vibe of evilness. He was so deep in thought that he slammed straight into a burly knight with a bandage wrapped around his head. Upon closer inspection he found it to be Gwaine.  
>"Oh, sorry Gwaine. What happened to you? You look terrible..." The knight huffed.<p>

"I don't know! One minute I was walking through the corridors to see what this visitor was going to be like, and the next- BAM! Flying goblet wallops me upside the head!" He paused to rub his bandage indignantly. Merlin frantically smothered a smile.  
>"Well, I've met him- both of them. Ffroenuchel is... well, he's not exactly skinny, to put it mildly. And he's rude. He thought I was a servant, so Arthur put me undercover." He rolled his eyes. "The man's worse than Arthur ever was. And that man he came with, Drwg. Ffroenuchel called him his assistant but I really don't believe that. He has this... aura."<br>Gwaine nodded sagely. "Ah... I get that sometimes. Especially after I drink. Apparently, it's like a chainsaw. Keeps everyone in hearing distance awake." Merlin resisted the urge to facepalm and sighed.

"Come on, the official meeting is in five minutes. I want to know what Fancy-Pants wants from us!" Gwaine grinned and ambled off towards the council chambers, Merlin close behind. An irritated king, a fat, presumptuous noble, an injured and inebriated knight, and the exasperation of a warlock having to hide his gifts _again_, shut up in the same room_._ This should be interesting.

Arthur was not having a good day. That... obese buffoon insisted on examining every inch of the castle and making suggestions for its improvement, mostly involving golden statues and giant bathtubs big enough to swim in. Oh, look, there he goes again...

"If I may make the tiniest of suggestions-"  
>"No."<br>The affronted expression on the noble's face was laughable.

"I only meant-"  
>"That is Queen Guinevere's throne. She would most definately <em>not <em>like it to be encased in solid gold _or_ diamonds and she certainly wouldn't want it engraved with rubies," he emphasised. Lucky, lucky Gwen. Off on a trip to the surrounding villages to make sure they had enough food. _She _didn't have to be anywhere near Ffroenuchel. The man was getting on his _last _nerve. That single, solitary, micoscropic _shred _of sanity he had somehow managed to hang on to throughout all those years of dealing with Merlin, Gwaine, and every idiot who crossed his path was being rapidly eaten away at by this ostentatious obelisk.

"Oh. Shall we proceed then?" The loudmouthed lunatic bellowed.

"One minute, I need to find Melin!" Arthur answered tetchily.

"No need, we're here!" cheered the _other _bane of his existence. Oh, and he brought the second in command irritation too! How wonderful.  
>The fat noble took a swig of wine and coughed, somehow managing to make even that sound like a thunderstorm. He continued spluttering for a moment then spat out the wine he had inhaled.<br>"Yes, well, now that he is here, we can proceed! Clean that up, would you boy? So, Arthur Pendragon, I assume you know of the arrangement between your father and I?" Arthur flushed a little. He had been so busy trying not to throttle the visitor that he had completely forgotten to look up the details of his contract.

"The details are a little hazy. Would you care to remind me?" he hedged, ignoring the suspiciously snort-like sound from Merlin, who was now attacking the spreading puddle of wine with a mop.

"Of course, of course! Well, King Uther was a staunch supporter of the fight against magic, as I'm sure you know!"  
>Oh dear. Arthur could just feel that this wasn't going to go well.<p>

"He was brilliant at containing and executing those who had magic, naturally, but even a king such as he needed allies in the purging of such evil!" Uhoh. Gwaine scowled at the noble. Arthur could see Merlin's bone white knuckles tighten on the mop, moving mechanically back and forth over the same atch of spotless floor.  
>"I'm not quite sure where you might be going with this. What <em>exactly <em>was the nature of this deal you had with my father?"

"Why, he employed me as the head of his bounty hunters of course!"  
><em><strong>Snap! <strong>_

The head of the mop broke off as Merlin applied too much pressure.

"Sorry, sire," he spoke through gritted teeth. Ffroenuchel didn't seem to notice, and continued on oblivious to the look entering the warlock's eyes. Arthur, however, was painfully aware of the impending doom of the fat fool.

"Yes, Drwg here-" the scruffy man emerged from the shadows where he had apparently been skulking. "-is the finest bounty hunter I've ever had! Never let a single prisoner escape, unlike my previous assistant! Halig, his name was. The fool got himself killed fighting off this evil freak masquerading as a gi-"  
><em><strong>SLAM! <strong>_

The wooden stick which used to be a mop was brought down on Ffroenuchel's foot with an incredibly loud _smack._ It was then twisted up to slam the unfortunate fatty between his legs, producing a squealing howl of pain. When Drwg stepped closer in shock he was cracked over the head and fell to the floor, unconscious. Merlin then turned the stick back on Ffroenuchel, ramming it under his chin.

Arthur almost didn't recognise his friend for a moment. Not only the uncharacteristic fighting, but the furious, almost primal look on his face made the warlock look- he couldn't believe he was saying this about Merlin, of all people- _dangerous. _Obviously, a line had been crossed which should never have even been neared. The piercing blue eyes were almost black in their anger.

"Shut. Up. Now."

If Arthur thought Merlin was angry before, he was proved wrong now. He was way past angry, and was purely livid now. It was like Wrath personified, his every syllable laced with fury. The noble, however, kept talking, albeit in a higher pitch.

"How dare you! I am the Lord of Caerlaverock, and I will not be treated this waAAARRGHH!" He was cut off by a swift punch to the face.

"_I_ am Merlin Balinorsson, Court Sorceror of Camelot, last of the Dragonlords, High Priest of the Old Religion, lover of the Lady of the Lake and the one the druids call Emrys. I was born of magic, and I _am _magic. It is my destiny to protect Arthur Pendragon, the Once and Future King, from danger. _You _have just insulted me, my heritage and the woman I love in one short conversation, which makes me very mad and very dangerous. I would _suggest _you shut up and start running, _Lord _Ffroenuchel." He all but growled the last sentence, his eyes burning gold. Finally, the fat man took the hint. Gwaine shoved the still unconscious bounty hunter at him with a look of pure contempt and practically threw them out of the door.  
>"It was nice meeting you, don't come back again!" With one last look of terror, the man took heed and waddled off, dragging Drwg behind him. When they didn't move quickly enough, Gwaine set off menacingly after them. With every step they took, Merlin's ire seemed to melt away, until he slid down the wall with a sigh, looking rather defeated. Arthur cautiously sat down next to him. He gave it a few seconds before assking.<br>"Are you all right?"

Merlin snorted.

"Yeah... stupid question. Any chance you want to tell me what that was about?"  
>The young warlock sighed, the most world weary expression possible upon his angular features.<p>

"Freya..." It was almost a whisper.

"Who?" Arthur probed gently. He did possess _some _measure of tact.

"Freya. She was... cursed. You met her once. Remember the druid girl?" Ice crawled its way into Arthur's stomach.

"But... I..."  
>"Yeah."<br>They sat in silence for a moment.

"I laid her to rest in the Lake of Avalon. It's the gateway between the earth and the spirit world. It kept her, not alive exactly, but... here. She guards the lake and the sword."

"Sword?"  
>"It doesn't matter..."<br>"Merlin?"

"Yes Arthur?"

"If anyone asks, this never happened, right?"  
>"Wha-" Arthur pulled him into a hug. They stayed like that for a moment, before Arthur relinquished him, clearing his throat.<p>

"Never happened. Right."  
>They got to their feet and went their separate ways, and while Merlin was far from his usual cheery self, there was a small smile playing around his lips.<p>

_  
>AUTHOR'S NOTE- Sheesh. It's done! That was a very long chapter. And I didn't mean to make it all angsty, I swear! It just... sort of happened. But, to make up for it, I'll do one last (short!) chapter detailing the fabled Great Gwaine Incident of May, previously left only to the imagination! If you have any inspiration for it, feel free to leave a review! Hint hint! I'll give you VIRTUAL COLIN MORGAN! Ha! How d'ya like DEM apples?<p>

By the way, the naes aren't random- Ffroenuchel Sugno-Fyny is Welsh for "snooty suck up" and Drwg Ymlsgo roughly translates as "evil creepy". Caerlaverock is a real place, in the Scottish Borders. I know it isn't Welsh, but I like the name. It rolls off the tongue. Care-lav-ruk. Awesome.


	13. The Great Gwaine Incident of MayLONG AN

The Brotherhood Of The Round Table

The Great Gwaine Incident of May

or, The Gwaine/Gawain Confusion

"Gwaine! _Gwaine_! Where _are _you, you pillock?" Merlin was getting frustrated. He had been looking for the knight for half of the morning, and still hadn't made any headway. He wasn't in the kitchens flirting with the maids (and sneaking ale) or in the fields training (and sneaking ale) or in the tavern (drinking ale and instigating bar brawls). Merlin had nearly keeled over when he heard the last. The tavern was the go-to place if you wanted to find Gwaine. If he wasn't there, he'd be training, flirting, or being dragged off on another Quest, courtesy of his Royal Pratness. Merlin always had the urge to put a capital letter in front of that word whenever Arthur applied it to a long, arduous journey over rough terrain during the course of which they were invariably attacked by beasts/bandits/buckets (a very long story involving a young druid, an ogre and a mispronounced protection spell) then had to rescue/help/liberate an endangered person/village/magical artefact/Welsh castle (don't ask. Just _don't ask, _okay?) as a result of which Merlin would have to risk revealing his magic in an attempt to save the Once and Future Dollop Head from his own stupidity/ignorance/rudeness/overconfidence whilst appearing to be just a servant, resulting in him either being called a girl/petticoat/the incredibly clever "girl's petticoat". And what did he get in return for his minimal moaning? Gwaine Watch, that's what. That was another of his terms, though this one was a little less annoying than Quests, as "all" it involved was rounding up Gwaine in time for Round Table meetings. However, it was proving to be a lot more difficult than usual today.

"GWAINE! GET OVER HERE RIGHT **NOW**!" The small shred of patience he had left was rapidly unravelling. He sighed and looked around. He had to be here _somewhere..._ oh, no. Oh, please, God, no! He had caught sight of a piece of paper nailed to a post. It did not look good.

ROSSO'S TRAVELLING MEAD STALL

Free sampling today in the courtyard!

Come along and enjoy our exotic blends of the strongest meads in Albion!

Oh, this was bad. This was so, so bad. This was catastrophic. This was- _that was Gwaine he could hear!_

Panicked, Merlin sprintes towards the source of the commotion- the courtyard. He would know that voice anywhere, especially when it was raised in drunken song like that. He burst into the courtyard, scattering the crowd like marbles, and scanned the area. There was a small stall set up in the centre, around which numerous small mugs were scattered. The stall owner was attempted to shoo a large, singing man away from his supplies to little effect. Gwaine weaved around singing at the top of his lungs about the wonderful merits of shoelaces.

"_They're stringy and swingy and really tough,_

_They tie up your shoes and do other stuff!  
>They come in all sizes, from bi-iiiig to small- <em>hey, it's whassisface! Hawk! Pigeon! Raven! Chicken? No, wait, hang on, it's on the tip of my tongue! How does the princess say it, um..." He paused his meandering for a moment and stared at the horrified manservant. "Oh, right, yeah, _Muuuuuuuuuuuur_lin_!"_ Ignoring the fact that his Arthur impression was spot-on, Merlin marched over to Gwaine and took a firm grasp of his left earlobe.

"What do you think you're _doing, _getting trousered before a round table meeting? I've been looking for you all over the place! You know you aren't supposed to go wandering off on your own! Anything could have happened to you! And just _look _at what you've done here, such a mess..." He scolded. Behind him, the salesman stared on in baffled bemusement. That was a mere commoner, marching off towards the castle, dragging a Knight of Camelot away by his ear and lecturing him like a misbehaving child! And the townspeople took no notice! What a strange, strange place...

"...and what's more, completely used up all of that poor man's stock! How could you be so irresponsible? I thought you knew better than that, Gwaine, I really did. Why I did, I have no idea, but that's hardly the point!"  
>Gaius frowned as he heard his ward's voice drift down the hall. What in heaven's name was he doing? They were both meant to be at a Round Table meeting at that very minute, and he was chattering to Gwaine? Honestly, he despaired at times. The door to his chambers was flung open as the aforementioned ward staggered in under the weight of Gwaine, whom he was now supporting.<br>"Merlin, where the devil have you been? Is Gwaine... drunk?" Ah, now it made sense. Gwaine Watch, as the physician had slipped into the habit of calling it. Living with such a cheeky imp had its side effects. Merlin dumped the giggling knight onto a chair and turned to Gaius with a very serious gaze.

"Please," was all he said.

Ah, where were those sobering tonics? This called for Serum Seven- also known as "Oh-crikey-he's-drunk-and-the-wedding's-in-ten-minutes-sober-him-up-quick" serum. Locating it right between "Repercussions-of-stag-night" and "Please-stop-throwing-up-I-don't-care-how-much-you-drank-it-got-old-an-hour-ago", he unstoppered the bottle, pinched Gwaine's nose and threw the lumpy mixture down his throat.

"Make sure he doesn't drink any alcool for the next four hours, or the effects will wear off and leave him even more inebriated than he is now." Staring at the now groaning knight in quiet terror, Merlin paled.

"Right. No alcohol. Got it."

"_Mer_lin! The meeting started half an hour ago! Why are you so late? And don't give me any nonsense about lions and witches again, I had enough rubbish of that last time." Piqued, Merlin piped up defensively.

"Hey, that was _not _rubbish! She _did _steal your wardrobe! Then she got in it with the lion and the whole thing disappeared, and if it didn't then how do you explain it vanishing with all your clothes? And then you were too embarrassed to ask Gwen to make you new ones, because _that _would mean admitting you were wrong about it, and Arthur is NEVER wrong! And you had to commission new clothes from a travelling trader so in the meantime you had to borrow Morgana's leggings and her flowery blouse as I reca- oh, hi Gwen, didn't see you there!" Seeing Arthur's black expression, he hastily went on. "Anyway, _you _are the one who sent me out on Gwaine Watch! Three words- Travelling. Mead. Stall." Lancelot interjected then.

"Rosso's Travelling Mead Company? Oh, I stopped by there earlier. I picked up some samplers from Caledonia- it's got a kick like a whole herd of mules!" Oblivious to Merlin's horror, he passed out a few phials of amber liquid- to Leon, Arthur, Elyan, Percival, one to Merlin and then Gwaine.

"NOOOOOOOOO! DON'T DRINK THAT!" His warning came too late- the roguish knight had swallowed the whiskey in one swift gulp.

"Ahh... that's some good... good... whishkey..." Merlin groaned as Gwaine toppled over and hit the floor.

"Oh, dear. Not good. Not good. Not AT ALL GOOD! Oh, no, GWAINE DON'T DO THAT!" The knight had leapt up and vaulted onto the Round Table, landing in a handstand.

"Poor _Gri_mmon's DEAD, now he has no _HEAD!_ I think I feel *hic* a SHONG coming on!" He sprang upright and broke into a strange combination of a one-man Dashing White Sergeant and and Irish jig. "And a one, two, five, four, nine, shix, sheven eight! I LOVE PRETTY RAINBOWS, THEY'RE SO BRIGHT, WHY AM I SPOUTING OFF SUCH SH-OWOWOWOW! SHORRY GWENNIEGWENGWEN!" He grabbed his own empty chair, heaved it up on to the table and clambered upon it, using it as a step to reach the crystal chandelier which he swung himself onto. He hummed, swinging high above the heads of his speechless audience.

"OOOOOO! I ! I'll do "The Ditty Of Little Mish PRETTY!"  
>"NO!" yelled everyone in the room. They were all too familiar with that particular song and it had earned the roguish knight many a slap over the years.<p>

"All right, because you inshishticated! OH, _here_ ish a ditty for little _mish _pretty, with shweet copper _curlsh _and long stringsh of _pearlsh_, such a glorioush _shight _would never _give _you a fright! A young man came to _town _and pulled her kni-OOF! _DOWN_! And then she became _MISSHUS _PRETTY!" Gwen raised her shoe threateningly, the other one being glued to Gwaine's face by the force of momentum and gravity.

"Farewell, my shweetlings! Leave your requeshtsh with my good friend mishter rabbit on the way out. Thank you, thank you, I'm here till TUESHDAY!" The knight jumped down from the chandelier and landed with a crash on the table. He peeled Gwen's shoe off and skipped (unfortunately, that is not a turn of phrase) towards the door belting out the lyrics of the Shoelace Song.

"They come in all shizes, bi-IIIIIIIIG and *hic* shmall, they're great for shoooo-ooesh, one and all!"  
>With that, he left, merrily breezing out through the open doors.<p>

There was a brief silence.

"Well... that was..." Lancelot trailed off.  
>"Odd," chorused everyone else. Arthur continued.<p>

"One drink and he's off? That isn't like him at all... _Mer_lin?" Merlin huffed in annoyance.

"I tried, I really tried! You are _not _pinning this one on me, Arthur!"  
>"Merlin. What. <em>Happened?"<em> Merlin gave a sigh of defeat.

"Travelling ale stall, shoelace song and Serum Seven." No other group of people, then or since, would have understood that sentence, but it was testament of how well they knew Gwaine that they needed no further words. Lancelot paled.

"Oh..."  
>"Yes. Oh," Merlin agreed. "Come on, we need to find him! Follow the trail of mayhem!"<p>

Gaius raised The Eyebrow. "As ever, it seems..."

"Excuse me!"  
>"Pardon us!"<br>"Coming through!"  
>"So sorry!"<p>

"Ouch!"

"Make way!"

"Excuse me, prince and posse coming through!"

"_Merlin!"_

"Yes, Arthur!"

"Shut up!"

"Yes Arthur! OW mind out Leon!"  
>"Sorry Merlin!"<p>

"*OW!* Sorry missus!"

"Ouch!"

"Oh dear, so sorry!"

"**OWWW!"**

Arthur had never fully realised just how crowded Camelot could be. Everywhere he went, there were people shopping, people walking, people talking, people haggling, children playing and laughing, others crying. It was bedlam!

"Arthur!" A long, skinny arm shot out and grabbed Arthur out from the path of a speeding cart. "Roadhog!" yelled the manservant, shaking his fist- the one which wasn't firmly clamped to the collar of Arthur's jacket. "Oops, sorry, Arthur! You appear to be a bit dusty!" Arthur looked down. The cart had kicked up a cloud of dirt which had attached itself to his clothes, giving him the appearance of a walking dust collection. He was not particularly amused.

"Merlin! Why are there so many peo-ERRK!" He would later vehemntly deny he made any such noise- after all, princes most certainly do not go "errk" even if a particularly energetic youngster _did _drive their elbow into the said prince's throat in an attempt to escape his friend. He would protest that Merlin was suffering from his as yet unnamed mental affliction and that he had in fact been very dignified and had not uttered a single word. Believe what you will.

"Hmm? Oh, it's always like this on a Thursday! Market Day!" Catching sight of Arthur's face, he elaborated. "When traders come from neighbouring kingdoms? Honestly, Arthur, keep up! You're the one running the place, and you don't know about Market Day!" Miffed, Arthur stuck his nose in the air.

"I'll have you know that some of us have far too much education to be stored in our brains to worry about trivial things like Market Day," he sniffed, regretting it as he picked up the scent of the apothecary stall a few yards away.

"Yeah, that would account for the huge head, I suppose," the cheeky twerp yawned. "Hey, we've lost Percival!" Arthur did a quick head-count. Merlin, Lancelot, Gwen, Gaius, Leon, Percival, himself and... nobody. Great.

"Oi! Man down! We have a MAN DOWN!" Merlin hollered, balancing on an upturned cart to see his companions above the throng. "Gwen, continue looking for Gwaine with Leon in the EASTERN HALF! Elyan, Lancelot- you take the WESTERN HALF looking for GWAINE! Gaius, you, uh... where are you..." To his chagrin, Arthur picked out Gaius' silvery-white mane next to a herb stall. "Oh, there he is... GAIUS! _GAIUS! _WE NEED SOME **CAMPHOR OIL**! _Thanks!_ Arthur, you come with me and sweep the SOUTHERN HALF FOR PERCIVAL!" The prince leapt a foot into the air as Merlin forgot to switch off his foghorn voice. "Oops, sorry... come on!"  
>Torn between amusement and peevishness, Arthur shook his head as he pushed his way through the crowd. "You do know <em>I <em>give the orders, Merlin?"  
>"How could I forget?" Arthur was annoyed to note that the crowd never touched him; the young man expertly weaved his way between people, stalls and children with a grace never seen while hunting, only pausing to scoop a young boy out of the road with an quick admonishment. The boy nodded with wide eyes, then ran off down a side street. Merlin looked after him, checking to see that he made it across the road safely, before giving a yell.<p>

"PERCIVAL! OI! OVER HERE!" A tall, muscled shape detached itself from a side street, wide-eyed.

"Crowded, is it not?" he panted, squished against a wall.

"You don't say..." quipped a sarcastic voice from the nonexistant space between Percival and the stones. "If you wouldn't mind..." Merlin peeled himself off of the wall and dusted, none the worse for wear. "Percival, can you see anything?"

The man looked around, before pointing to some unseen point over their heads. "Gaius, shopping. Elyan and Lancelot, right _there._" He waved for them to follow him, and, travelling in his generous slipstream, Arthur was glad he did. Merlin didn't seem bothered- he even chatted to all of the vendors as they passed.

"Hi, Marie, how's little Ben?"  
>"Mmm, those rolls were great! I'll stop by later, Juliet!"<p>

"Such a ladies man, Merlin," teased Arthur.

"Oh yes. Not everyone can be blessed with my charm, looks and wit, after all." How did he come _up_ with this stuff? "HEY! ELYAN! LANCELOT! OVER THERE! TARGET SIGHTED!" Merlin seized Arthur by the wrist, who in turn grabbed Percival, and towed him through the crowd at surprising speed.

"_Merlin! _What the-"  
>"I would know <em>that <em>noise anywhere!"

"What noise?"

"Gwaine singing. "The Candlestick Conundrum", if I'm not mistaken..." Arthur stared at the back of Merlin's head, then at Percival, who shrugged as best as he could without knocking over anything he was dragged past.

_Oof! _Arthur was sandwiched between Percival and Merlin as the latter came to an abrupt stop.

"Listen!" Arthur strained his ears to hear above the din of the city.

"_... so shiny and stickish, for candles to hold, _

_But what shall we do when the candles grow cold?_

_Chin up, chin up, we'll light a candle for you,_

_Chin up, chin up, we'll solve the conundrum with you!" _Gwaine came barreling out of a side street and smacked right into Arthur, who was now ever so slightly battered. "Hullo _princess! My princess waits from across the sea, I hear her calling to me, to me..._" He then danced off, trailing a string of flags behind him.

"FOLLOW THOSE FLAGS!" Arthur yellled, barging his way through the crowd. "Merlin! Merlin?" The skinny man had disappeared. Arthur stopped, and was overtaken by a blue and brown blur sprinting between the stalls.

"Come on then, keep up! GWEN! LEON! He's COMING YOUR WAY! Lancelot, Elyan, come round the side! Arthur, Perce- just hurry up!" With barely a second to reflect on the fact that he was following _Merlin_'s orders, the prince ran after him. This was _so _undignified...

"Percival- go left!" he yelled, not giving Merlin time to do it. "NOW!"

They burst into a relatively clear spot where Gwaine weaved around in circles. Leon and Gwen boxed off one route, Percival blocked one by himself, Elyan and Lancelot screeched to a stop just in front of a wall and Merlin and Arthur were in front of the sozzled knight.

"_HULLO, _my com- com- companionsh! I'm afraid-" he broke off, giggling. "I'm _afraid _I've forgotten your namesh! Hang on, wait foh'r it, wait foh'r it, it'sh on thuh tip of my _tongue... _BARNABY!" He wheeled around to Lancelot and waved, overbalanced and tripped over the trail of flags. "Barnaby" went over to help him up, but was knocked to the floor as Gwaine shot to his feet.  
>"Look! I'm an <em>arteeshte!" <em>He pointed to what Arthur now recognised to be one of the castle walls, or more specifically the bright blue dye now covering it. G-A-W-A-lopsided I-N.  
>"That's not how you spell your name, Gwaine!"<p>

"Hahahaheehee... name, Gwaine, shame, dame, claim, clan, clatter, codshwallop! You're a POTE Wezsley!" Wesley? _Wesley? _Of all the names in all the world, he named Arthur WESLEY? "Oh, it'sh TEN PERSHEHNT LUCK, TWENTY PERSHEHNT SHKILL, FIFTEEN PERSHEHNT CONSHENTRATED POWER OF WILL! _FIVE_ PERSHEHNT PLEASURE, FIFTEEN PERSHEHNT _PAIN, _and _one HUNDRED PERSHEHNT REASHON TO REMEMBER THE __**NAME! **_(it's GWAINE)!" Right, that was it. He launched himself at Gwaine and tackled him, intending to knock him down and _drag _him back to the castle if necessary. Unfortunately, Gwaine's fist caught Gwen in the ribs and she gasped, bent double. Elyan dived in to exact revenge, along with (to Arthur's mild irritation) Lancelot. When Lancelot went in, Percival followed, attempting to stop the stushie. Merlin hovered and tried to reason with the rabble, but when a stray knee somehow whacked him in the throat he toppled over and hit the dirt. He sat up covered in dust. Arthur knew they had gone too far when he saw the mud upon the young man's previously bright red, spotless neckerchief.

"Oh, it is _on_!" And he dived into the fray.

Rosso the merchant hummed as he packed his various phials away. It had been a good day, apart from the incident of the morning. Nevertheless, he had had a good mornings takings- the many orders taken for more alcohol of his standard had more than compensated for the free samples he had distributed. It was with a cheery smile that he loaded up his cart and prepared to depart for Escetia. Plenty of people to persuade to part with cash there, and less... oddness. Camelot was nice and all, but unfamiliar. Unlike any other kingdom, where you wandered in and got what you expected- a king, queen, prince/princess, obedient citizens, and resplendent knights- in Camelot, everything was ever so slightly bizzarre. Take that... incident earlier. A knight had wandered in, gotten plastered and been dragged off by a scolding servant. According to the townspeople, it wasn't even an uncommon occurence. How strange. Swinging himself up onto the cart, he looked around for an opening into the road. However, his high position perched above the crowd gave him an excellent view of an even stranger event.

A large group of what at first appeared to be walking dust heaps led by an old man at second glance was revealed to be the Court Physician dragging... no. Surely not. His eyes must be playing tricks on him, because _surely _that could not be the _Prince Regent _covered in dust, mud and bruises being dragged along by the ear. Just as that bruise along his eye could not match the skinny fist of the slightly less clarty manservant also being pulled along by his auditory organs, and that could not possibly be the knight who had consumed almost his entire stock wrapped up in... were those flags? whistling loudly and dragging along a whole group of equally filthy knights by the aforementioned flags which were also wrapped around them, while the whole lot were yelled at by the prince's consort. Surely not. Even Camelot wasn't that strange... right?  
>_<p>

AUTHOR'S NOTE- I'm sorry it's so late! My laptop died, then the charger died, then my sister's charger was dead already so she was using mine, as a resulty of which her computer died too. I had to buy a new charger from eBay, then as my house is as isolated as the Burrow it took ages for the postman to come and bring me my new charger. I've no manner of luck...

Disclaimer- I own the Shoelace Song, the Candlestick Conundrum, the Ditty of Little Miss Pretty, and Rosso's Travelling Mead Stall, but I don't own Merlin, Gwaine or Remember The Name (yes, I know, it was NOT invented in Arthurian times, but I got the feeling that if it was, Gwaine would introduce himself as ten percent luck, etc.)

Well, that's it. So long, folks, and a deep, sincere thank you for sticking with me for this long. I know it's been hectic and that my AN's are often just as long and weird as the actual stories, so I'm really grateful that you bothered to persevere.

Speaking of long AN's, I really have to share my horror with you. I offered to write a story for a friend of mine as a present, in any category she wanted, never dreaming of the evils that would come of it. She asked me to write... a Twilight story. WIth Alice and Jasper. FML... So that'll be one of the next plot bunnies I have to exterminate. Lovely. Just... lovely.

I never thought I would ever get 100+ review, so I'm delighted. Let's see if you can give me one last review, hmm?  
>My lovely reviewers! (up until now...)<p>

GoldJinx170, the best fan one could wish for.

Reader 13, unsigned but lovely.

nycorral, who shares my love of BAMF Merlin

afanoflife, who has an awesome name

ksdene, with whom I agree as regards angry Merlin

ReadingRaven019, whose stories I have read and loved

SerpentWinged, who got the Michael MacIntyre reference =]

hblankm, who got the Pirates of the Carribean reference and earns zillions of brownie points

She-Who-Must-Be-Hyphenated, I agree. It SHOULD be Leon's official title.

DeaththeKidKat, who shares my reaction to story alerts and makes my day by saying so, and who chased down my sanity with a scythe and a taco. That was sheer brilliance.

merlinismylife, whose name says it all =P

Riley, my one hundredth (wow...) reviewer... BTW, if you have an actual username I was going to promo you as a 100 prize, so... PM? If you don't just say so in a review.

LadyProemess, who reassured my about any OOCness

Alice Harkey, who caught the How To Train Your Dragon reference. Bless you =]

toraneko-chan, who is lovely and was very sympathetic about my history meltdown

wildchild17, who is a lot like me according to her profile. Love the Bear Grylls quote! Ooh, and who should also continue Forgive and Forget.

Yabbit, who had nothing but praise for me =] Which was nice

CeCe, WHO LIKES SIMPLE PLAN! Woot! Oh, great, I've got Jet Lag stuck in my head now... not that that's a bad thing!

Myth., who added one of my Gwaine quotes to her Gwaine quotes story (which you should take a decko at =])

Miyako Hiragawa, who also knows the pain of school computers

lordstarlight, whom I hope I didn't disappoint

GhostMbwa, who was also sympathetic and reassured me that the chapter wasn't too bad, despite the insane circumstances, and is a fellow Whovian! I'm in love with Ten...

AnotherNamelessAuthor, who has quite posssibly the best name of all time.

Astrakelly, whose praise made me blush =]

Fountainofroses, who also has a lovely name even if it isn't a signed account

Theodora Helena Miller, who is very nice and has funny quotes on her profile

kaykit, who gave me some great tips for the Essay Of Pure Evil (which I am proud to say I aced!)

merlintracybeakerYDfan, whose name also says everything

Ebonypol, whom I have on story alert. Please don't leave me hanging!

mortaldaughterofathena, who likes Percy Jackson and therefore is awesome. Hunter of Artemis, at your service!

Jossy99, who has great Merlin stories.

lovecanconquerall, whose profile pic makes me LOL and whose reviews make me smile. As my first reviewer, you made me so happy and I thank you for persuading me to persevere despite the then-scarce reviewers.

Arnia, unsigned but nice =]

Condiotti, whose profile leads me to believe you will have a few things to say about my upcoming Twilight fic, all of which I will agree with

Vulcan Lily, who I am pleased to note is as much a grammar Nazi as I am

Hawthorn Tree, who uses puns as bad as mine

FireChildSlytherin, with an awesome profile picture and name. Fair warning though- Gryffindor and proud! Pottermore confirmed it ;)

Someone, with a cryptic name and not so cryptic words.

takethatterforlife, whom I updated chapter 5 that little bit earlier for

Kigy, who gave a nice opinion of my cliffies

derpina, who didn't give quite as nice an opinion, but didn't mince her words either.

LadyOfLegend98, who is lovely

Bluesilvermelody, whose name is incredibly beautiful

chocolatecake1, whom I agree with as regards the confession on your profile =] It used to drive me crazy until I found

AlySophie, who makes me wish I could speak German because her story looks great from what little I could decipher of the summary

sherlocked, who wasn't signed but whom I would reccomend the Sherlock Holmes books to and not just the series, because they are quite frankly brilliant.

StarBolt1996, who really encouraged me with her lovely review, one of the first ten I received.

BlackTippedAngelWings, whom I hope is still reading this so she knows how encouraging those three words were.

Well, that's it. Sweet dreams,

dreamy x


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